X's and O's (Saint View Murder Squad, #1)

by Elle Thorpe

Woman, if vaginas weren’t repulsive to me, then I would be all up in yours like it was the gateway to Heaven.”

“I am not calling up some random sex worker and asking him for blow job and confidence tips, Toby!” He pouted at me. “Girl, what exactly do you have to lose? You’re lying here crying over a prison inmate. You’ve hit rock bottom.”

“Scale of one to ten. How mad would you be if I licked this thing like a lollipop?”

I had no idea whether I was flattered, terrified, or just really damn turned on.

“Just think of him as a puppy. One that needs training.” “A murder puppy,” I muttered. She laughed. “I like that. Seems pretty fitting for X.”

“Your knife pose is really coming along nicely,” I said sarcastically. He brought his hands together and bowed his head. “Namastab.”

I twisted to Whip. “I touched it. After he had his hand…” I shot George a murderous glare. “I touched the penis gun.” Gag. Gag. More gag.

“Oh, sweetie. Straight men are dumb. They can’t help it.”

“They’re multiplying!” He yelped. “Oh God, it’s like one of those zombie apocalypse shows where they all attract each other. It’s nearly ten o’clock at night, you crotch goblins! Why are you eating ice cream at this time? Have you no concern for a good night’s sleep?”