Stutter. (Rayne-Moore University, #2)

by Ruby Darling

She thinks I can’t hear her but in the quiet little home we rented from her friend, it echoes. Not loudly. Just a low, shy sound, only floating when it gets to be too much for her. Her worry. Her grief mirroring my own. Her insecurity that she wasn’t enough of a good mother which makes me angry.

For a moment, I can see Maddie’s reflection standing beside me. Her head comes up to my chest where once upon a time, I came up to hers – proof of how much time has passed. I watch as her ghostly hand covers mine, cold against my skin and I suppress a gasp and a shiver. Our eyes clash, silver with silver and she gives one solemn nod, and when the elevator whirs, beginning it’s descension, I blink, and I’m alone again. And for the first time in twenty-five years, I allow myself to grieve what could have been.

I am a reaper, he is life.

Tortuous bliss. To be mentally trapped in a world away from here with nothing but the men I love.

No lovely kiss from Death awaited me. No angel to take me away.

The thought of being replaced sends me into a jealous rage.

“if she brings you peace amongst the chaos, if she seeks to be in your arms even when you’re angry, either of you, if she chooses you over and over again, looks at you like you’re the most interesting creature she’s ever set her eyes upon, even if she has no idea what you’re talking about, and loves you despite what a complete shite you are sometimes, you keep her. And you never let her go. A woman like that only comes once in a lifetime. She will love you so fiercely nothing will ever compare.”

I take in the few French titles she’s placed in the basket already and make a note to myself to go through her phone later when she’s asleep to look up her Pinterest and see if she’s marked any books down she wants.