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Thankfully, I have no issues lying to an old lady. “Nothing.” Unfortunately, she has no issues calling me out on it either. “Bullshit.”
You’ve had your brain addled by far too many people who should have done right by you, and until you put some effort into fixing the damage they did, you can’t claim to be in your right mind about anything.” “Oh, fuck you.” She laughs. “What’s wrong? Are you going to throw a tantrum, sweet pea?”
“I can talk about myself however I want. I can’t hurt my own feelings.” “I don’t think that’s true.”
Seven was supposed to be the one person who was all mine, and I love him so much that I want him to be happy, but since he started therapy, something’s changed. That person has been messing with his brain.
No he's getting the help you should
My whole fucking life is on hold while I wait for you to get better, and you won’t do a single thing to make it happen.” His glare has deepened. “You don’t get to blame me for your shitty life choices.” “I do when you’re one of them.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to manipulate people. Like, that isn’t a good thing.” “Neither is codependency, but we’re doing that reasonably well if you ask me.”
This whole thing with Xander was supposed to be that my feelings came about because of our proximity. The time apart was supposed to drive in how wrong it was and how many lines I crossed. It didn’t work though. The distance killed me.
But you are the reason I decided to go now.” “You’re welcome.” His eyes spark. “Am I?” “Yes. It’s basically because of me that you achieved your dreams. I’m an inspiration. A voice of the generation, you might say.”
“I’m going to marry a freaky little bug man. Why, cruel world, why?”
“I’m not scared. I don’t think I’ve stopped hurting a day in my life.” “That’s … Xander …”
And I think they—and me, I guess—can see that maybe, possibly therapy hasn’t been a completely bad thing for me.” “Maybe possibly?” His lips twitch. “That’s the best you’ll ever get out of me, so take it or leave it.”
“Next time you want my attention, just ask. Don’t get annoyed with your friends.”
“No. I love Molly. But did you need to show him that much attention?” “Yes.” Derek reaches up and gently tucks my hair behind my ear. Soft fingers skim against skin, and all the annoyance drains out of me. “He means a lot to you, so one day, he might mean a lot to me.”
“You’re incredible, Xander.” I slowly look up and find him watching me. Derek’s warm fingers find my cheek like they belong there. “You’re so fucking incredible it kills me.”
I’d fucking devour him if I could. Ruin him. Leave him begging for more. Exactly how I will be once this is over.
But when I’m with Xander, I don’t want to be smart. He feels like mine. He acts like mine.
“I was cold.” “Makes sense. I always have my JV sweater on the back seat, waiting for the day someone is cold at the start of summer.” “Stop calling me on my shit. It isn’t cute.”
🤣
And whenever he’s unreasonably tired and irritable, this ache starts behind my sternum, and it’s impossible not to hold him and never let go. Yeah, my dumb ass has gone and fallen for him.
Apparently, self-hatred isn’t a thing most people do, and he wants me to work on it. Go figure.
This is going to be your home, where you can be soft and stop fighting.
