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“I’ll be your lifejacket. I’ll always save you, Caiden. Always.”
Grief is a monster that hangs on your shoulders until you’re too weak to fight it. Until exhaustion settles in and the monster whispers in your ear to just give up. I think if you’re strong enough, you can fight it off. I think you can win and grief can become a part of you but not enough to control you. But my monster has won because I am not strong. I never have been.
Whatever today was, felt far more intoxicating. Deeper. Meaningful. When our lips met, there was something inside of me that cried out to him. Lost in the moment - lust and anger fuelled - I wanted him more than the air in my lungs. How we got there eludes me, but perhaps kissing Caiden was the end result of a thousand smaller choices we made - a butterfly effect.
“What if I was made to love you both? At different times and in different ways. What if everything we’ve done and been through since the day we met was to bring us to right here, to this moment where I love you more than anything and you love me in return?”
“I need you to know that Cooper was my world.” I suck in a sharp breath, not having expected those words. “He was all I saw, and I fell hard for him. But Caiden, that was nothing compared to how I feel about you.”
“While he may have once been my world, you are my entire universe. You are the sun, and the moon, and every cosmic space between. You are the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and the greatest love I have ever known.”
“We’ve made mistakes to get to this point and I know we’ll make a thousand more because we’re human, and life is messy and chaotic, and sometimes it downright sucks. But I will never stop fighting for us and for you.”
“Oh, sweetheart, there was no choice, there was only you,”
“It’s the universe. My universe - you.” “It’s perfect,”
“You’re my universe too, you know?” “Yeah?” His nose nuzzles the soft spot beneath my ear. “Yeah. Maybe I should get a matching one.” “Hmmm, I like the idea of my name on your skin.”
“I can’t promise I won’t try to push you away when I get upset, but I promise to let you scale the walls I put up. I love you, Jamie.” “You couldn’t put up a wall big enough to keep me out. You’re stuck with me now.”
