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Green like a forest in winter where only shards of sun get through - light on the edges and darker in the middle.
“Hey, Sage. Did you know that dogs can’t operate MRI machines?”
I drum my hands on the table and add “but catscan!”
love Dad Jokes 🤭
He laughs without restraint, and when he smiles at me? When he smiles, my entire world spins like I’m stuck on a carousel that’s out of control.
Caiden’s laugh is loud and foreign to my ears and I realise it’s the first time since we met that I’ve seen him even remotely happy. He’d be just as beautiful as his brother, I think to myself, if he wasn’t so fucking angry all the time.
You don’t need to accept him as a brother, but you do have to accept that he belongs to me and I really fucking like him. Okay?”
“I feel like I’m drowning, Cooper. All the time. Like there’s all this water and it’s pushing me down, holding me under, and there’s no one there to save me.”
“I’ll be your lifejacket. I’ll always save you, Caiden. Always.”
“You’re my best friend, Coop,” I say, my voice muffled against the now damp fabric of his shirt. “And you’re mine. I’m so lucky I was born with my best friend,”
You're not the sum of your saddest moments, Caiden. You're so much more. So much stronger.”
when reality slaps me in the face, I feel my soul shatter. A cruel groundhog day that I can’t seem to escape.
“I love you, Jamie. I’m so glad you’re mine.”
Cooper died, but living is my punishment for everything I did wrong to him and everyone around me.
this moment where it feels like he’s right where he’s meant to be. Where he smells unfamiliar but he feels like mine.
“You’re scared, I get that, so am I. You’ve turned everything upside down and I barely understand myself at the moment, but I do know this. I’m not comparing you and I don't wish you were him. Whatever paths we took led us here, to this moment where I'm with you, sunshine. You.”
“You’re not damaged.”
“You're amazing and so fucking beautiful.”
“Jamie was having a tantrum and taking Nova with him as his emotional support baby,”
we all need an emotional support baby 😂
I get lost in his laughter. It’s sweet like honey and warm like a summer breeze. It’s a
“Families don’t keep scores, Caiden,”
“I’ve really missed you. Thank you for coming home.”
“Look for me in the stars,” I say under my breath, soft enough for only him to hear. Jamie shifts, smiling at me with dark, wet lashes. “Now you know where to look, so you can always find him.”
“You, Caiden Carrington, are the best gift I never even knew to wish for,”
“I love you. I can’t promise you forever, because we both know that’s not a promise anyone can make. But I can promise you every breath and every beat of my heart.” My free hand finds his and lifts it, coming to rest over my heart. “It beats for you, Caiden.” Then I move our hands to my ribcage so he can feel the rise and fall of my chest. “For you.”
past. Being in love is wonderful, highly fucking recommend. But, it doesn’t heal you automatically. It just means there’s someone in your corner with you.
“I realised that I deserve to have someone love me with every bit of them.
“What if I was made to love you both? At different times and in different ways. What if everything we’ve done and been through since the day we met was to bring us to right here, to this moment where I love you more than anything and you love me in return?” He
“Every breath and every heartbeat, remember?”
“While he may have once been my world, you are my entire universe. You are the sun, and the moon, and every cosmic space between. You are the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and the greatest love I have ever known.”
“I love you,” I say. “Thank you for being stubborn and not letting me push you away, and for choosing me.”
