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“It’s nice, sure, but if a man wants me, I hope nothing will hold him back. That all he could think about was me until he had me all to himself.” She straightens, and I miss the way her long hair tickled my neck.
“He’s taking her for granted just because she decided to stay home and raise their kids.” “And she regrets the decision to give up her career, despite her daily schedule juggling and organization of the house, she’s working at an executive level but getting paid in sticky hands, hugs, and kisses.”
It sucks getting old and losing your looks.”
“Good because you’re mine.” He draws back, and I’m not sure what the look on my face is. Surprise? Shock? Elation? “You know, until we’re bored with each other.” He shrugs, playing it off. “Totally.” I try to do the same.
“Rowan,” I whisper, “You know I knew who you were the night of the wedding. But I didn’t go up to your room because of who you are in hockey or who you are in Chicago. I went up to your room because you made me laugh and the ease between us. I thought this would end that night, but it didn’t. I’m not sleeping with you so I can tell people I’m sleeping with Rowan Landry, professional hockey player. It’s just hard to separate you from the icon you are. Does that make sense?”
“When I’m with you, I forget who I am to the outside world. I’m just a guy who met a girl that he can’t stop thinking about all the time. Then I get reminded of how you might think of me, and I’m not sure…shit, just forget what I said.”
“She’s the only mother you have, that’s what I’m saying. It’s our marriage, not yours. You’ll have to separate the two. She didn’t cheat on you. She cheated on me.”
“He’s a goner, but still in denial,” Tweetie says across the locker room.
She scoffs. “So, you’re just going to keep punishing me for it?” “Punishing you?” “Yes! You’re going to ostracize me out of our family. Conor doesn’t call me. Your dad moved out. And you’re quitting on me.” My chest aches at the news that my dad has moved out. I make a mental note to call him tomorrow and see how he is. “You did it to yourself.” A knock sounds on my apartment door, and I know it’s Rowan. “I have to go.”
“Oh, snap!” Tweetie says with glee. “And the sidewalk show goes from Chicago Fire to the Maury Povich Show. You are the sister!”
I really wish he’d let me talk to him and tell him everything, but I also understand how big trust is to him, and I broke that. I knowingly broke that.
“Listen. I’m not selling the bar.” “What? Why?” I’m surprised, especially after the fire. I get that she’d have to use the insurance money to make it decent again, but we could be partners and make it something new. “Seeing it destroyed made me realize how much I’d miss it. It’s like a husband—it drives you crazy, but at the end of the day, you love it, and it’s been good to you. A lot of people find solace here, a comfort they can’t find anywhere else. That was obvious to me when our regulars reached out to me after the fire. So, you’re off the hook.”
My throat tightens, and my nose tingles. I want to cry because there’s so much more to Ruby than what she shows the world.
And I repaid that trust by continuing to lie. Sure, it was because I was afraid to lose him, lose what we had. Every time I thought about confessing, I thought just one more day, one more time, one more moment with him before it all fell apart. But it was selfish, and I don’t blame him for not wanting to hear me out.
“I’m your mind begging you to listen to your heart. Shit, man, we get one life, and happiness isn’t guaranteed. Why are you just throwing your chance in the gutter? So what? She lied about her name, but she didn’t lie about who she is. You saw the real her. You fell for the woman she is. A name doesn’t mean shit. The fact she’s Pinkie’s sister doesn’t mean shit. The only thing that matters is how she made you feel—about her and about yourself.”
He kisses my forehead. “You’re the best surprise of my life.”
Life is unfair and unpredictable, and sometimes you get the shit end of the stick.
You and Conor are my everything.” I scoff and roll my eyes. “You are. But I lost myself in being a mother and a wife. You guys left home, and I didn’t know who I was. I thought after you left, your dad and I would reconnect. That we’d find one another again, fall back in love. But while I tried to book vacations and date nights, your dad threw himself into his work. And I get it. It was the easy thing to do for him. The house was empty. There were no more practices to carpool to. No more footsteps running down the stairs. It was just silence.”
“That isn’t me saying you’ll be sitting in my seat down the road. It’s just to tell you that we were once two young people very much in love. And maybe we didn’t nurture that love but ignored it and let it die. And then we didn’t take the time or effort to try to bring it back to life.” She shrugs. “Those are what-ifs that I can’t keep thinking back on. I have to move forward with my life. For myself. You and Conor are all grown up. It’s time for me to figure out who I am.”
“I’m all grown up, Conor. You can’t protect me from everything. I’m going to make mistakes. I don’t think Rowan is one of those, but if something changes, and he breaks my heart, I’ll put on my big girl pants and deal. Sure, it will hurt and that will suck, but I’ll get through it. You don’t have to worry about me. But this thing between you and Rowan is not only ruining our sibling relationship, it’s ruining a friendship between the two of you and destroying your entire team. Is it really worth that?”
