The Emperor of Gladness

by Ocean Vuong

“I had a life, Labas.” She paused and thought about it. “It started on a burning hill. Then it went down that hill and did like this,” she drew a line across his face with her finger. “Flat. Kaput. Nothing. Just days and days, and sometimes a little bump. And that’s enough. The Lord gave me peace and it’s good.” “Tonight was peace?” She swallowed. “To be alive and try to be a decent person, and not turn it into anything big or grand, that’s the hardest thing of all. You think being president is hard? Ha. Don’t you see that every president becomes a millionaire after he leaves office? If you can be nobody, and stand on your own two feet for as long as I have, that’s enough. Look at my girl, all that talent and for what, just to drown in Bud Light?” Water dripped from her nose. “People don’t know what’s enough, Labas. That’s their problem. They think they suffer, but they’re really just bored. They don’t eat enough carrots.”

Then he took medicine to make his wounds go away. He wanted too much of one feeling—and I guess his heart gave out because of it. I don’t think we’re made to hold too much of any one thing.” Hai regarded the dead owls in his hands.