The Emperor of Gladness
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Read between November 8 - November 10, 2025
19%
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Next you head into the freezer, propping a milk crate behind you so you don’t get locked in, which Sony said happened to him four times his first week and Wayne had to tape a chicken thigh on the door to keep it ajar.
35%
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A medical device that went no faster than eight miles an hour, the model was called the SpitFire 2, the fire part spelled out with flaming letters. It was like calling a catheter the Eternal Spring, Hai thought.
79%
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Somebody goes ahead and dies and all of a sudden you become a box for them, he thought, you store these things that no one has ever seen and you go on living like that, your head a coffin to keep memories of the dead alive. But what do you do with that kind of box? Where do you put it down?
80%
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“You’re—” she gestured at him, “a liggabit. Boy and boy, girl and girl. I see them in newspapers. Liggabit community.”
88%
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“Where are we?” Sony asked, rubbing his eyes. “Sign back there said Nowhere, Massachusetts,” said Grazina, pulling the scarf around her head.
92%
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Maureen started swaying gently, cooing to the headrest in her arms, the whole scene so weird and heartbreaking Hai bent down and retied his boots just to do something.
95%
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“Big Night. Every spring, when it starts to get warm, they all run together into a pool of water to make babies. We’re standing on highway to sex party.”
95%
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He wanted to tell Maureen about this. That the reptilians, when they weren’t eating our bad energy, were fucking in puddles outside of shitty diners by the highway.
95%
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“Do you remember your orders?” “To kill anything that moves.” She picked up a comb from the coffee table and held it up like a weapon. “No, to get to America at all costs.