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they’re only supposed to want to be happy,
Humanity has a system.
other people. Whatever they want, the answer is no.
Lucas is a man with no strings attached,
dear reader, so far? Instead of falling in love, have you tried to not do that? It really saves a lot of time.
It’s not that Lucas hates other people. He just really enjoys being where other people aren’t.
Best to be like dill,
“This is a violation of building rules!
he is still happy. That’s not going to last.
mild surprise. Lucas is mildly surprised, okay? Because his pad thai has no peanuts.
Pad thai without peanuts is like buying a balloon and just getting the air.
“You know what? You’re a busy man, I’m a busy woman. Either we stand here arguing about this all day, or you just give me the password and I disappear from your life.”
Apparently this doctor does this sometimes when she feels that mothers need . . . a break.”
“like a coma vacation? What do you do with all your time?” The green shirt beams.
The purple dress goes home to her Wi-Fi, the green shirt goes home to her TV shows, and Lucas goes back to his peanuts and his video game.
So: It’s a frying pan that’s ruining Lucas’s life. We’re getting to that now.
“We’ve taken a vote and decided that you should be the president of the Pile Committee. Because you seem to have good ideas,”
“responsibility” and “commitment” are actually two of the easiest ways of ruining any perfectly good day.
The small man from City Hall is carrying documents and rings Lucas’s doorbell early one morning.
Despite crime scene tape, surveillance cameras, and several angry notes from the board saying that this will under no circumstances be tolerated.
several neighbors have demanded that he be removed as president of the Pile Committee.
“No! You can’t remove someone who isn’t at the meeting!”
He almost has time to go back to being happy before the doorbell rings
they believe that you’re an angel.”
“Please. I just want one free day. I’ve got this new video game, I . . . ,” he begs.
The whole stairwell is actually full of cult members, all eating pad thai but in entirely different versions.
“ANGEL! ANGEL!”
This is when Lucas does something very, very stupid: he tries to be constructive and solve the problem.
It’s always the people involved who are the problem.
“Have you ever met human beings?” she asks.
“It’s great that there’s something happening! Nothing’s happened in my life for a very long time!”
But I think most people who want to be happy try to add things to their lives. But really what maybe they should be doing is taking something away.”
It’s hard to get used to a silent apartment.”
has found that the easiest way to be happy is to think about time in about eight-hour increments, and to always have something to look forward to at the end of those hours:
He’s slowly transforming into one of them.
It’s like he can’t control his mouth anymore, as if he’s becoming social. He shudders like the word is a terrible disease.
“But it was very nice to find that out for myself. What I don’t like.”
“Come in. Let’s talk about it.” The board animal is so stunned by this proposal that they can’t even form words.
“I don’t really have a plan. I guess I’m just going to trust human nature.”
People on the internet love happiness!”
“People should really just play more video games.”
They will be happy, all of them. The three humans on the balcony will learn this in the years to come, the way you always learn these things: via Facebook.
