More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
But home is my oasis of calm. The things that count here are family, loyalty, trust, and love. Whereas at Maxton Hall, all that matters is money. And I’m scared that bringing that stuff back here would shatter our peace.
I turn very slowly—and find myself looking straight into a pair of turquoise-blue eyes.
AAAAAAAHHHH
“If you keep your mouth shut until the end of term, we can double it. Till the end of the year, we’ll quadruple it.”
I fear I would not have gotten a love story 😭
The forty grand that James offered me by the end of the year could have bought a brand-new people carrier. I shake my head. No, I’d never take hush money from the Beauforts. I can’t be bought.
She's better than me 😔
As for me, I live half an hour from Pemwick, the closest town to Maxton Hall. Gormsey is kind of run-down with shabby houses and potholed streets, and totally unglamorous, but I like it there. I don’t even mind taking the bus here and back every day. Far from it.
30 min?! That's it?!
There’s a fire in his eyes that burns me and makes me shiver. There are butterflies in my stomach.
“Classical chic with a ghostly touch. Candles, black flowers. Modernizing the traditional Halloween party.” I make a note. “Equally dull.”
Damn but I liked that one 😭
Alistair mutters, making me laugh against my will. That’s one of the reasons Alistair’s one of my best friends. If I wanted to, I could talk to him about the stuff playing on a loop in my head. I could talk to him about everything—but I don’t have to. We’ve been mates so long that we’re in sync with each other, and, while we push each other’s limits, we know where they are, and we respect them. I don’t think I could build a friendship like this again with anyone else.
“At Oxford, you won’t just be able to tell anyone what to say. Maybe you should get used to either people hitting back or being kind of lonely. But even then, you shouldn’t have too many problems because hey, you’ll still be rich, and so the world will be interested in you.”
I feel like the show made this discussion better
He shrugs vaguely. “I’m just wondering how I never noticed you before.”
Then James takes my hand again. His other hand is on my waist, and I hold my breath. My heart starts racing, and I don’t know why, but it feels so good to be touched by him. At that moment, I can’t even remember why I can’t stand this guy. What is he doing to me? James avoids my eyes, his expression that same mix of alert admiration that I’m feeling.
“Beaufort was looking at you the whole time,” she says, out of the blue. I snort. “I was at the front. Everyone was looking at me.” “Not like that. His eyes were practically begging you to look back at him.”
“What you said this afternoon…” He hesitates. “What if I don’t want to go back to the old days?”
You’re not invisible to me anymore. And I don’t want to pretend that you are.”
How has this happened? How did we go, in less than a month, from total strangers to bribery to hatred to here?
I realize that I would much rather watch Ruby than my team. The sight of her is way less painful.
which makes it crystal clear that the lads don’t even need me. I’d rather be anywhere but here, so I don’t know why I’m hanging around.
The show doesn't truly capture this side of him
Ruby is running after me. Her fringe and the wind are not best friends; some of it is sticking straight up in the air. She sees my look and flattens it down against her forehead again. It’s one of her quirks that I’ve really noticed in the last few weeks. Now I know about the little comb she carries around in her pencil case, which she uses when she doesn’t think anyone’s looking.
Awwwww
“Great. Percy will be at your place at eight.”
I prefer how the show does it bc of the look on James's face when she arrives, plus the pleasant surprise he feels when she arrives
“You know exactly why I don’t drink, Wren,” I reply coldly, straightening my shoulders.
Whaaaaaaaat?!
Until now, he’s always left me alone at school. Never even hinted at what happened that night two years ago—so why suddenly here?
The show didn't have this!!
Wren’s panting breath, his restless hands all over my body. The thought makes me burn up. Partly with shame and partly because I was actually enjoying it. But the way it happened bothers me to this day.
Ok so the show switched her trauma story, I guess?
Why the hell do I have to keep catching people in the act when they definitely don’t want an audience?
No, seriously 😭
I’m in a murky, yellowish-green sea. I’m no longer seventeen, I’m eight. And I can’t remember how to swim. I’m at the mercy of the bitterly cold water. I can’t breathe. The seaweed is pulling me down, and I can’t move. My arms won’t work, my legs are out of action. I have no control over my body. The pressure on my chest is overwhelming. And then I have no choice but to breathe in the water.
Oh damn so the book gives her 2 trauma stories 😭
“I’m sorry,” he says. “What for?” I ask quietly. “For never having given you any reason to look at me the way you just looked at Kieran.” “James…” “I’m going to change that,” he goes on, looking me deep in the eyes.
The Halloween party is a week from today.
The show made them on the same day
On Friday morning, the posters arrived from the print shop, and we put them up around the school during that day’s meeting.
I liked how the show made it a surprise fom James instead
I’d never have thought it possible, but I don’t hate James Beaufort anymore. Far from it.
21 Ruby
When are we getting a James POV again?? 😭
He grins, then lets his eyes roam over me. I feel warm as I see his expression change and the mocking smile turn into something gentler, more honest—a smile that seems to be meant only for me. “You look beautiful.”
Being from a blue-blooded family doesn’t make her a better person than Ruby. Ruby works harder than anyone to get what she wants. She’s intelligent, good-hearted, and…gorgeous. A great kisser. And an even better listener.
Ruby gave me a feeling I’ve never known before. Which is that, with her at my side, everything is possible. A beautiful, ugly lie. Because the truth is that, for me, nothing is possible. Unlike her, the world is not my oyster. The course of my life is preset. Maybe that was exactly what attracted me to Ruby in the first place. She takes her life in her own hands while I’m just a puppet, pulled this way and that. She can live while I just exist. We don’t fit together. I only wish I’d realized that before I kissed her.
Ok so the show made his 180 behavior bc of the threat from his father, which is better for James's character development
“You can’t lose a thing that isn’t yours in the first place, Ruby Bell.”
I like that in the show he calls her Robin again
After dinner, I lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling. I’m giving myself this one evening and night to mourn for what there was between James and me. To grieve for the friend I’ve lost without knowing why. But no longer than that. I’m still me, and I’ve sworn to myself that I won’t let anything or anyone get in my way. As of tomorrow, everything will be back to normal, the way it’s been these last two years. I’ll concentrate on school and go to events meetings. I’ll have lunch in the dining hall with Lin. I’ll prepare for the Oxford interviews. I’ll go back to living in a world where James
...more
I remember the Monday after the party when she sat with me at lunch and apologized to me. She was nice to me, just because.
Show Lydia is a little meaner
“Besides, James trusts you. And he never trusts anyone.”
there is still plenty of time for other stuff.”
I love that the show added a jealousy moment here, and it makes sense bc his question after this comes out of nowhere
Whenever I see him, I feel like my body is tied to his in some irrational way. The need to touch him grows the closer he comes, regardless of how livid I am with him. This is impossible. How can I still want him when he hurts me this badly?
But this doesn’t change everything that’s happened between us. The things he yelled at me, and the way he treated me. I can’t forget that. Not if I want more from him than a whispered apology. I want an explanation, and I think he owes me one.
Go Ruby!
“That was a lie. I’ve belonged to you since you threw my money back in my face, Ruby Bell.”
I can’t believe I’m only just realizing this. I’m in love with Ruby Jemima Bell.
This is our first time. I want us both to remember—years from now—how good it was.
“You were right when you said that I don’t know what I want from life. I don’t think about everything I could do, because if I allow myself to dream, it just makes everything all the more depressing afterward.”
“If you’re with me, I feel as though I can do anything,” he says hoarsely. “So that’s why you definitely belong on a list that’s there to make me happy.”
My father considered it a personal insult that I was invited to St. Hilda’s for an interview.
I just realized the show made James an artist and the book doesn't
“That’s good. Because I think you’re going to be seeing more of her, and not just at school.”
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH
For a brief moment, I truly thought that James and I could make this work, if we both wanted it enough. But now one thing is clear to me: I will never be a part of his world. Unfortunately, I’m only recognizing that now, when it’s far too late.
