The Irresistible Urge to Fall for Your Enemy (Dearly Beloathed, #1)

by Brigitte Knightley

“What did you do?” gasped Aurienne. “He fell,” said Mordaunt. “He fell?” “Yes. On the fork.” “He fell on the fork? Twenty times?” “Yes. Due to…fear.” “What was he afraid of?” “The fork.”

“Might we,” asked Aurienne, “go anywhere without subtracting from the population?” “Would you prefer,” asked Mordaunt, “that we add to it?”

“Sit, Rigor Mortis,” called Mordaunt. “You named the dog Rigor Mortis?” asked Aurienne, as Rigor Mortis ignored the instruction. “They’re named for what was happening when I found them,” said Mordaunt. He pointed at dogs as he listed their names. “Arson. Perjury. Forgery. Outraging Public Decency. High Treason. The terrier is Diverse Felonies. The whippet is Crème Brûlée.” “The crème brûlée was a crime?” “It was the murder weapon.”