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my father took me into the Schottegat where they were completing the loading of the S.S. Empire Tern, a big British tanker. She had machine guns fore and aft, one of the few armed ships in the harbor.
setting out on her lonely voyage to England. There, she would help refuel the Royal Air Force.
sailors on the Empire Tern, which was painted a dull white but had rust streaks all over her, waved back at us and held up their fingers in a V-for-victory sign.
A tug and several small motorboats headed out toward the Tern, but it was useless. Some of the women cried at the sight of her, and I saw men, my father included, with tears in their eyes. It didn’t seem possible that only a few hours before I had been standing on her deck. I was no longer excited about the war; I had begun to understand that it meant death and destruction.
That same night, my mother told my father, “I’m taking Phillip back to Norfolk.” I knew she’d made up her mind.
I wondered why he didn’t simply order her to stay. But he wasn’t that kind of a man.
The ships had begun to sail again, defying the submarines. Some were lost. Henrik and I often went down to Punda to watch them go out, hoping that they would be safe.
Then one day in early April, she said, “Your father has finally secured passage for us, so today will be your last day in school here, Phillip. We’ll start packing tomorrow, and on Friday, we leave aboard a ship for Miami. Then we’ll take the train to Norfolk.”
She said that we didn’t love her and began to cry.
“Phillip, the decision is made. You’ll leave Friday with your mother.”
In our cabin, which was on the starboard side and opened out to the boat deck, my father said, “Well, you can rest easy, Phillip. The Germans would never waste a torpedo on this old tub.” Yet I saw him looking over the lifeboats. Then he inspected the fire hoses on the boat deck. I knew he was worried.
he said good-by to us between clenched teeth. I clung to him for a long time. Finally, he said, “Take good care of your mother.”
My mother was very calm, not at all like she was at home. She talked quietly while she got dressed, telling me to tie my shoes, and be certain to carry my wool sweater, and to put on my leather jacket. Her hands were not shaking. She helped me put on my life jacket, then put hers on, saying, “Now, remember everything that we were told about abandoning ship.”
I saw a huge, very old Negro sitting on the raft near me.
His voice was rich calypso, soft and musical, the words rubbing off like velvet.
I looked closer at the black man. He was extremely old yet he seemed powerful. Muscles rippled over the ebony of his arms and around his shoulders. His chest was thick and his neck was the size of a small tree trunk. I looked at his hands and feet. The skin was alligatored and cracked, tough from age and walking barefoot on the hot decks of schooners and freighters.
powerful.”
helped
powerful
rare good luck,
rare good luck.”
I was thinking about my mother on another boat or raft, not knowing I was all right. I was thinking about my father back in Willemstad.
Without answering,
Although I hadn’t thought so before, I was now beginning to believe that my mother was right. She didn’t like them. She didn’t like it when Henrik and I would go down to St. Anna Bay and play near the schooners. But it was always fun. The black people would laugh at us and toss us bananas or papayas. She’d say, when she knew where we’d been, “They are not the same as you, Phillip. They are different and they live differently. That’s the way it must be.”
he didn’t answer.
I knew they’d always lived in their sections of town, and us in ours.
I saw them mostly in the summer, down by the river, fishing or swimming naked, but I didn’t really know any of them. And in Willemstad, I didn’t know them very well either. Henrik van Boven did, though, and he was much easier with them.
I was amazed that any man shouldn’t know his own age. I was almost certain now that Timothy had indeed come from Africa, but I didn’t tell him that. I said, “I’m almost twelve.” I wanted him to know I was almost twelve so that he would stop treating me as though I were half that age.
“What do we have to do?” I asked. His eyes groped through the darkness for mine. He came up on his elbows. “Stay alive, young bahss, dat’s what we ’ave to do.” Soon, it became very cold and I began shivering. Part of it was coldness, but there was also fear. If the raft tipped over, sharks would slash at us, I knew.
I was still shivering, and soon he gathered me against him, and Stew Cat came back to be a warm ball against my feet. I could now smell Timothy, tucked up against him. He didn’t smell like my father or my mother. Father always smelled of bay rum, the shaving lotion he used, and Mother smelled of some kind of perfume or cologne. Timothy smelled different and strong, like the black men who worked on the decks of the tankers when they were loading. After a while, I didn’t mind the smell because Timothy’s back was very warm.
I was still shivering, and soon he gathered me against him, and Stew Cat came back to be a warm ball against my feet. I could now smell Timothy, tucked up against him. He didn’t smell like my father or my mother. Father always smelled of bay rum, the shaving lotion he used, and Mother smelled of some kind of perfume or cologne. Timothy smelled different and strong, like the black men who worked on the decks of the tankers when they were loading. After a while, I didn’t mind the smell because Timothy’s back was very warm.