Influencer: The New Science of Leading Change, Second Edition

by Joseph Grenny

Personal experience can be an equally important way to remove fears that keep people from doing the right thing. As you encourage others to create their own direct experiences—taking field trips, interviewing similarly addicted people, and so forth—it can be tough to get individuals to take that first step. This is true for a couple of reasons. First, people tend to resist new behaviors because they’re crystal clear about what they’ll lose by changing but uncertain about what they’ll gain. Like it or not, when it comes to change, humans tend to overvalue what they’re losing while undervaluing what they gain. So we don’t eagerly embrace the verbally recommended strategy. This cognitive limitation is worsened by the fact that we humans are notoriously bad at predicting how we’ll feel in new circumstances—for example, predicting what will make us happier. In fact, psychologist Daniel Gilbert has made a career out of demonstrating that human beings are downright awful at predicting their own likes and dislikes. For example, most research subjects strongly believe that another $30,000 a year in income would make them much happier. They feel equally strongly that adding a 30-minute walk to their daily routine would be of trivial import. Yet Dr. Gilbert’s research suggests that the added income is far less likely to produce an increase in happiness than is the addition of a regular walk.