Nine Month Contract (Mountain Men Matchmaker, #1)

by Amy Daws

“Pretty sure I got it right in that ad, though, didn’t I, Papa Bear?”

Screaming

“Please, Dad,” Everly scoffs casually. “I’m not even a virgin.” Calder screams. Literally screams. It echoes off the foothills, likely sending all the wildlife scrambling.

Hhaha

“It was a one-night stand?” Calder coughs as he rakes his hands through his hair. “I knew I was a bad influence on you. I never should have hung out with you so much. I’m a dirty, filthy, disgusting, rotten pig. I’m never having sex again. This is my vow to—” “Uncle Calder...get over yourself,” Everly drawls, her eyes rolling to the back of her head.

Im dying

Throwing my stepmom a lifeline, I answer, “Well, Ethan, a baby is made when two haploid cells fuse to form a single diploid cell that is also known as a zygote and that undergoes a lot of cellular division and development inside the uterus of a female over a period of nine months or so, resulting in a baby.”

I love her

I’m six foot four,

He can stay

Selena Goatmez,

Dead

“No fucking way.” “No fucking way!” “No fucking way.” All three of my brothers repeat the same three stupid words as they stand on my front porch way too early for a Saturday morning, gaping at me like three circus monkeys. I’m beginning to hate Saturday mornings.

Iove them

Calder pounds his fists on the steering wheel and mimics the voice of a caveman. “Me no touch Wyatt’s toy or make Wyatt angry like demon dragon.”

Hes my fave

Good for little goat turd.

Aww

“Trust me, I can handle each bit of you every day of the week and twice on Sundays.”

Woof

Because while my mind is raging mad at him, my body just wants a hug from him. But like...the vagina kind of hug. I want his mountain-rain scent all over me.

Vagina kind of hug! LMAO

“Family medicine,” Josh adds with a polite smile. “I have a private practice with my wife in Boulder, who does more mental health stuff. We have three daughters as well, which means... I drink a lot of whiskey.” He sips the amber liquid from his rocks glass and shakes his head.

Lmao

She is mine. Not just this baby but this woman.

My ovaries

“What you and I have has an end date anyway. And if I’m being honest, Wyatt, I don’t think you even really like me. You just have a pregnancy fetish or a breeding fetish or a big-girl fetish. You want a thing about me...you don’t want me. This baby inside me is just confusing your mountain-man brain.”

Damn Girl...

I’m more like my shitty parents than I ever realized. And you’re weaponizing my greatest weaknesses against me by offering me this apartment.” “That’s not what I was trying to do.”

That is so fucking unfair

“I’d want you even without this baby.” “Well, I don’t want you because of this baby.”

Dude... Fuck her

A sick sensation roils through me as my mouth goes dry, and I picture Wyatt as a father with another woman.

Why should you care? Its just a job. Remember?

“I’m in love with you, lucky number thirteen. You’re not my second choice or thirteenth choice. You’re my only choice.”

Ahhh

They’re both totally in love, and it’s all because of me. Winning!

You did good kid

“I know you had no way of knowing I was saving that particular french fry, but it felt personal at the time, okay?”

Aww i love them

“Because when I read that, I figured that’s why we’re so perfect together. I’ve been quiet my whole life because the only voice I wanted to hear was yours.”

Shut upppp

My mom sniffles softly from her chair, grabbing a handkerchief out of her purse as she nods solemnly. “That’s a really good name.”

It really is