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“Please, Dad,” Everly scoffs casually. “I’m not even a virgin.” Calder screams. Literally screams. It echoes off the foothills, likely sending all the wildlife scrambling. Luke stumbles and nearly drops to the ground, his shoulders rising and falling as he braces himself on his knees and pants heavily, a look of disgust smeared across his face. Max’s jaw drops with horror as he stammers with what to say back to that very unexpected bomb his only daughter just dropped. And I remain frozen, begging for a time machine to take this moment away immediately. Or, better yet, go back in time to
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But my bra situation is very unfortunate, especially with this tighter top I chose to wear today. With a heavy sigh, I tug at the top of my bra to try to get my girls back in their jail cells. I used to be a solid D-cup, but whatever is happening to my chesticles now is most definitely not fitting in my D-cup bras. I hold my hand to the side of my mouth and use my best flight attendant voice as I add, “Ladies, please return to your assigned seats.”
