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Help Wanted: Grumpy Mountain Man seeks baby momma to grow his seed. Uterus a must. Ovaries negotiable. Boobs not required but a nice bonus. Job is an incubator position only. No parenting allowed. Surrogate must be impervious to grunting in the form of communication and impartial to goat droppings. Rustic mountain range housing available upon request. Interested parties can text 555-5456. Murderers need not apply. Expect sizable payment and signed legal contracts before insemination commences. Also, must be cool with brotherly neighbors...and no, that isn’t code for Why Choose.
If you need me, all you have to do is ask. You’re never going to feel like a burden to me.”
“One mountain man is plenty for me, thanks.”
Because while my mind is raging mad at him, my body just wants a hug from him. But like...the vagina kind of hug. I want his mountain-rain scent all over me.
“You’re mine to take care of.”
maybe if I just kissed you right now...maybe if I stuck my tongue down your throat and laid you down in one of these stalls and fucked your brains out like the fantasy you described in the truck, we could both finally breathe a little bit easier.”
“if you let me fuck you, then you need to know that means I will own your body. Every particle on your skin will be mine for the taking. Do you understand?”
“You thought I was controlling before? You haven’t seen anything until I sink my cock deep inside you. Then you’ll really be mine.”
“Don’t ever feel shame for feeling pleasure. You apologize for coming on my face ever again, and we’ll have problems.”
“I want to watch my seed drip out of your greedy little cunt after I give you another orgasm.”
“If there’s something I want, I’m not going to pussyfoot around and act like I don’t want it just to be cool or play games. I want you. I’ve been thinking about you since the moment I woke up. I want to be inside you again so I can see your face when you come this time. I lay awake half the night, regretting the fact that I didn’t get to see your fuckable lips part when you came on my cock.”
And if this baby is a girl and looks anything like you, I’m going to have to buy another shotgun to scare the guys away.”
