I went into the living room, looking for something to do. In the kitchen I heard my mother switch on the radio. ‘And now,’ said a voice, ‘a programme about the family life of snails.’ My mother shrieked. ‘Did you hear that?’ she demanded, and poked her head round the kitchen door. ‘The family life of snails, it’s an Abomination, it’s like saying we come from monkeys.’
