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But you can make choices and change your present circumstances. You can alter your future.”
“That may be so, but you still have an astonishing capacity to fool yourself.
That is why you needed to dream your life. Remember it when you’re tempted to run off and pursue your illusions.”
“You don’t see your prison because its bars are invisible. Part of my task is to point out your predicament, and I hope it is the most disillusioning experience of your life.”
“Disillusion is the greatest gift I can give you. But, because of your fondness for illusion, you consider the term negative. You commiserate with a friend by saying, ‘Oh, what a disillusioning experience that must have been,’ when you ought to be celebrating with him. The word disillusion is literally a ‘freeing from illusion.’ But you cling to your illusions.”
“Dan, you are suffering; you do not fundamentally enjoy your life. Your entertainments, your playful affairs, and even your gymnastics are temporary ways to distract you from your underlying sense of fear.” “Wait a minute, Soc.” I was irritated. “Are you saying that gymnastics and sex and movies are bad?” “Of course not. But for you they’re addictions, not enjoyments. You use them to distract you from your chaotic inner life — the parade of regrets, anxieties, and fantasies you call your mind.”
Some truth right here.
In your habitual quest for achievement and entertainment, you avoid the fundamental source of your suffering.”
“If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don’t want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can’t hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change, free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is a law, and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.”
“Life is not suffering; it’s just that you will suffer it, rather than enjoy it, until you let go of your mind’s attachments and just go for the ride freely, no matter what happens.”
‘Mind’ is one of those slippery terms like ‘love.’ The proper definition depends on your state of consciousness. Look at it this way: You have a brain that directs the body, stores information, and plays with that information. We refer to the brain’s abstract processes as ‘the intellect.’ Nowhere have I mentioned mind. The brain and the mind are not the same. The brain is real; the mind isn’t. “‘Mind’ is an illusory reflection of cerebral fidgeting. It comprises all the random, uncontrolled thoughts that bubble into awareness from the subconscious. Consciousness is not mind; awareness is not
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The Mind
“That’s one cure, but it has undesirable side effects. The brain can be a tool. It can recall phone numbers, solve math puzzles, or create poetry. In this way, it works for the rest of the body, like a tractor. But when you can’t stop thinking of that math problem or phone number, or when troubling thoughts and memories arise without your intent, it’s not your brain working, but your mind wandering. Then the mind controls you; then the tractor has run wild.”
You have an angry thought bubble up and you become angry. It is the same with all your emotions. They’re your kneejerk responses to thoughts you can’t control. Your thoughts are like wild monkeys stung by a scorpion.”
They had nothing to do with the actual events. Haven’t you been ‘unhappy’ at celebrations for example? It is obvious then that your mind, not other people or your surroundings, is the source of your moods. That is the first lesson.”
“The second lesson comes from observing how you became even more angry when you noticed that I wasn’t upset in the least. You began to see yourself compared to a warrior — two warriors, if you please.” He grinned at Joy. “You didn’t like that, did you, Dan? It might have implied a change was necessary.”
“Even a young fool in the throes of lust cannot fail to see how his mind creates both his disappointments and his — joys.”
And your anger is proof of your stubborn illusions. Why defend a self you don’t even believe in? When is the young jackass going to grow up?”
“Socrates,” I said, “I have to see her!” “You don’t have to do anything except to stop seeing the world from the viewpoint of your own personal cravings. Loosen up!
When you lose your mind, you’ll come to your senses.
How do I turn down the noise? What can I do?” He scratched his head. “Well, I guess you’re just going to have to develop a very good sense of humor.”
“Anger is stronger than fear, stronger than sorrow. Your spirit is growing. You are ready for the sword — Socrates.”
thinking about my mind — a self-defeating activity if ever there was one.
“Socrates, how do I stop my thoughts, my mind — other than by developing a sense of humor?” “First you need to understand where your thoughts come from, how they arise in the first place. For example, you have a cold now; its physical symptoms tell you when your body needs to rebalance itself, to restore its proper relationship with sunlight, fresh air, simple food. Just so, stressful thoughts reflect a conflict with reality. Stress happens when the mind resists what is.” A car rolled into the station bearing a formally dressed older couple who sat like two ramrods in the front seat. “Come
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the practice of insight into the source of your own ripples is meditation.”
“Silence is the warrior’s art — and meditation is his sword. With it, you’ll cut through your illusions. But understand this: the sword’s usefulness depends upon the swordsman. If you don’t know how to use the weapon properly, it can become a dangerous, deluding, or useless tool. Meditation can initially help you to relax. You may put your ‘sword’ on display, proudly show it to friends. The gleam of this sword distracts many meditators until they abandon it to seek other esoteric techniques. “In contrast, the warrior uses the sword of meditation with skill and understanding. With it, he cuts
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I recognized them as members of one of the many new spiritual groups in the Bay Area. These particular people self-righteously avoided acknowledging our presence, as if our worldliness might contaminate them.
A meditation technique is not the whole of the warrior’s way. If you fail to understand the complete picture, you might be deluded, practicing only forward rolls — or only meditation — your whole life, thus reaping only fragmented benefits of training.
“What you need is a map of the entire terrain you need to explore. Then you’ll realize the uses, and the limits, of meditation. And I ask you, where can you get a good map?”
And it came to me that the highest purpose of the human body is to become a clear channel for this light — so that its brightness can dissolve all obstructions, all knots, all resistance.
Then I knew that awareness is how the human being experiences the light of consciousness.
I learned the meaning of attention — it is the intentional channeling of awareness.
Finally, I realized the process of real meditation — to expand awareness, to direct attention, to ultimately surrender to the light of consciousness.
Socrates, Prop. Specializing in: Paradox, Humor, and Change
Terrified by a vision of blood, death, and demons, he got up, walked to the teacher, and whispered, ‘Roshi, I’ve just had a horrible vision!’ ‘Let it go,’ said his teacher. A few days later, the student was enjoying erotic fantasies, insights into the meaning of life, and visions of angels — the works. Just then, his teacher came up behind him with a stick and whacked him, saying, ‘Let it go!’”
“More illusion — like the man who refuses to wear glasses, insisting ‘they aren’t printing the newspapers clearly anymore.’”
“You still believe that you are your thoughts and defend them as if they were treasures.”
“Because you fear death and crave survival. You want Forever, you desire Eternity. In your deluded belief that you are this ‘mind’ or ‘spirit’ or ‘soul,’ you find the escape clause in your contract with mortality. Perhaps as ‘mind’ you can wing free of the body when it dies, hmm?”
Consciousness is not in the body; the body is in Consciousness. And you are that Consciousness
You are the body, but you are everything else, too. That is what your vision revealed to you. Only the mind resists change. When you relax mindless into the body, you are happy and content and free, sensing no separation. Immortality is already yours, but not in the way you imagine or hope for. You have been immortal since before you were born and will be long after the body dissolves. The body is Consciousness; never born; never dies; only changes. The mind — your ego, personal beliefs, history, and identity — is all that ends at death. And who needs it?”
“Words mean little unless you realize the truth of it yourself.
“Peel it, layer by layer,” he demanded. I started peeling. “What do you find?” “Another layer.” “Continue.” I peeled off a few more layers. “Just more layers, Soc.” “Keep going.” “There’s nothing left.” “There’s something left, all right.” “What’s that?” “The universe. Consider that as you walk home.”
“Maybe you’ve heard about the Zen student who asked his teacher the most important element of Zen. The roshi replied, ‘Attention.’ ‘Yes, thank you,’ the student replied. ‘But can you tell me the second most important element?’ And the roshi replied, ‘Attention.’”
“Are you paying close attention to your standing?” “Yeah, sure,” I answered, not at all sure that I was. I walked over to the dispenser. “Are you paying close attention to your walking?” he asked. “Yes, I am,” I answered, starting to catch on to the game. “Are you paying attention to how your mouth shapes the words you say?” “Well, I guess so,” I said, listening to my voice. I was getting flustered. “Are you paying attention to how you think?” he asked.
“Sitting meditation is the beginner’s practice. Eventually, you will learn to meditate in every action. Sitting serves as a ceremony, a time to practice balance, ease, and divine detachment. Master the ritual before you expand the same insight and surrender fully into daily life.
In all the time I’d known him, he had acted angry, sad, gentle, tough, humorous, and even concerned. But always, a kind of peace and happiness had shone in his eyes, even when they brimmed with tears.
“A warrior doesn’t seek pain, but if pain comes, he uses it.
“The realm of the warrior is guarded by something like a gate. It is well hidden, like a monastery in the mountains. Many knock, but few enter.” “Well, show me where it is. I’ll find a way in.” “It’s not so simple, bumpkin. The gate exists inside you, and you alone must find it.
“Each of us has the capacity to find the gate and pass through, but few are interested. This is very important. I didn’t decide to teach you because of any unique capacity you possessed — as a matter of fact, you have glaring weaknesses along with your strong points — but you have the will to make this journey.”
Nothing wrong with anger or any other emotion. Just pay attention to how you behave.”
“Fear and sorrow inhibit action; anger generates it. When you learn to make proper use of your anger, you can change fear and sorrow to anger, then turn anger to action. That’s the body’s secret of internal alchemy.”
“Emotions are natural, like passing weather. Sometimes it’s fear, sometimes sorrow or anger. Emotions are not the problem. The key is to transform the energy of emotion into constructive action.”
