Grotesque

by Natsuo Kirino

“I forget. It was really all so silly. But is it? Is it really just a silly story? If anything, it’s terrifying. That’s because it represents precisely the value system that holds sway in Japan today. Why do you think I got involved in a religious organization with such a similar structure as Q School? I believed that if I renounced my family and entered the religious organization, I could advance my social position, make my way up the ranks of the hierarchy. But even though my husband and I practiced all kinds of austerities, we would never have been permitted to become executives in the innermost circle of power, and we would never have been in line to assume leadership of the organization. Only the founder and his entourage were ‘born into the privilege.’ They were the true elite. See? It’s exactly the same as what we faced at Q, don’t you think? I figured this all out while I was in prison. I realized that my life took a turn down the wrong path when I entered the Q system in junior high and tried so hard to blend in with those who were born to power. You and I are the same. And Kazue too. We all had our hearts wrested away by an illusion. I wonder how it looked to others. I wonder if we looked like victims of mind control.