A Piece of Cake: A Memoir

by Cupcake Brown

the kids playing football in the street, separating like oil and water when cars passed through;

And although I couldn’t sing a lick (I couldn’t carry a note if you put it in a bag), I still loved to sing.

That fuckin’ IUD! The doctor said the X-rays showed it had “moved into my uterus.”

Wide, black mascara streaks made my face look like I’d stuck it up against freshly painted bars, but had failed to see the “wet paint” sign.

don’t know where I lost control. One day, I thought the booze and drugs were providing me with the peace and solitude I needed to get through the day. The next, they were working against me, flooding me with anxiety and depression and leaving me with increasingly severe hangovers.

After that I loved going to the meetings. I especially loved hearing everyone in the room scream “Hi, Cupcake!” when I introduced myself. As crazy as it sounds, I used to cry when I heard the theme song from the television show “Cheers”: Wouldn’t you like to go where everybody knows your name? And they’re always glad you came . . . For years, I’d longed for a place where I could go and be a part of it; where people knew my name and were glad to see me.

<3

Recovery has nothing to do with willpower, being weak, or a lack of self-control. Not even love can do it.

being clean and sober opened my mind and body up to a never-ending wave of emotions and feelings that felt new. I’d spent so much time numbing myself from feeling anything that I’d forgotten how raw emotions can be.

I’d learned not to put a question mark where God put a period.