Hogfather (Discworld, #20; Death, #4)

by Terry Pratchett

The philosopher Didactylos has summed up an alternative hypothesis as “Things just happen. What the hell.”

the upper crust wasn’t supposed to work. It was supposed to loaf around.

“Susan says don’t get afraid, get angry,”

In fact, if you were very, very renowned, they wouldn’t even have to write down your name at all . . .

“Did you check the list?” YES. TWICE. ARE YOU SURE THAT’S ENOUGH?

“I happen to like fern patterns,” said Jack Frost coldly.

“I don’t sleep,” said Frost icily,

“Someone ought to do something” was not, by itself, a helpful one. People who used it never added the rider “and that someone is me.”

But someone ought to do something, and right now the whole pool of someones consisted of her, and no one else.

“You can’t give her that!” she screamed. “It’s not safe!” IT’S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY’RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE. “She’s a child!” shouted Crumley. IT’S EDUCATIONAL. “What if she cuts herself?” THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.

“Watch this, sir,” said Ponder. “All right, Adrian, initialize the GBL.”

“It . . . it means pull the great big lever,” Ponder said, reluctantly.

pig . . . manure, her governess mind hastily corrected.

“The damn sun comes up anyway,”

Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.”

+++ Humans Are Not Always Wrong +++

“Mud. Café de Terre,” said the manager firmly. “Genuine ground coffee.”

A violent death is the last thing that’ll happen to you.”

+++ All Things Strive +++

OLD GODS DO NEW JOBS.

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES. “So we can believe the big ones?” YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.