10 Ways to Accidentally Fall in Love

by Emmy Sanders

It’s far too soon to be thinking that way—and I dismiss the thought before my body has time to properly react—but I can’t deny Brad has me more excited about a potential first date than I’ve been in a long damn time. Does he want kids?

And don’t worry, Cat-man. He’s not replacing you, either. I have plenty of room in my heart for more than one gym-bro. I’m polygymorous.”

“Anything else?” I ask. “The inside is more important to me,” he says. “I want someone like… Well, someone like you.” “Dude,” I say slowly, setting down my fork. “That’s a super-nice compliment. Thank you.”

I must be a masochist. I didn’t know this about myself, but I don’t have any other explanation for why I’m meeting Brad outside a restaurant. For my date. With another man.

Sorry again about Lewis. The next one will be better, I promise. I’ll switch that whole watersports thing to motorboating. No way to confuse that.”

It’s pathetic, really, the way I imprinted on him like a duckling.

“Bub,” Joey says quietly, the nickname lighting me up inside. It feels like ours. Like something that’s just for him and me.

“Joey’s just my dude. My bosom buddy. My baby kangaroo-roo.” “Your…baby kangaroo?” the guy asks, sounding appropriately confused. Brad winces. “Yeah… Maybe don’t call him that. It’s mine.”

“Yep!” I say cheerfully. “Ready to eat my butt?” Joey’s eyes flare wide. “Shit, that wasn’t right,” I mutter. It only takes a second to click. “Ah. Ready to eat my dust?”

“Joey-broey,” he says in greeting, smiling like always. “I’m so ready to choke on your meat, it’s not even funny.” “What?” I cough out. “Your family’s barbecue,” he says as if it’s obvious.

“Fine,” he relents, opening his door. “But if you get sick, I’m gonna wrestle you into bed and tie you down. And you’ll take it. Happily. I can’t have my baby roo feeling blue. Heh. That rhymed. You coming?” Good fucking grief.

“You brought your gym-bro?” “Don’t judge,” I say, voice quiet as I cut a glance Brad’s way. He’s talking excitedly with my aunt and uncle, looking utterly at home. “I just… I can’t quit him, Iggy. I don’t want to.”

“So, Thursday?” “Thursday,” he agrees. I mentally pump my fist. Thursday night, Joey and I will meet Logan.

Not that I don’t like hanging out with you, too!” I make sure to add, not wanting the dude to get jealous again. “It’s just different. He’s my baby kangaroo. But don’t call him that.” “I…wasn’t planning on it.”

“We’re going on a date Thursday. Well, not him and me, obviously. Us and Logan. Him and Logan, but I’ll be there.”

Will Logan mind that his date is wearing the name of another man? A man who happens to be attending said date like an overprotective chaperone, who’s touchy-feely and cares so damn much it’s palpable, even though his feelings are painfully platonic? “Should be fine,” I assure Brad, despite knowing we’re bound for disaster.

A curious hum has me turning Logan’s way. “You have a little something,” he says, making like he’s going to touch my cheek. “I got it,” Brad cuts in loudly, tugging me around by the chin.

“Hey, wanna switch seats?” he asks after a minute.

“I probably shouldn’t come on your dates anymore, huh?” I say, even though I hate it. I don’t want Joey going on dates without me. Jason was right. I do want all his time.

“No Logans,” he finally says, a hard edge to his voice. “He was nice and all, but I don’t want you with anyone else. Just me.”

I’ve never really touched other guys the way I’ve touched Joey. He’s very touchable.” Jason rubs his face. “This is going to be a thing now, isn’t it? Me hearing about you and his—” “What do you think his dick looks like?” “Yep. There it is.” Jason huffs

And seriously, Bee, tell Joey if anything doesn’t feel right. And what? Why are you smiling at me?” “Joey would never hurt me,” I tell him. “I’m not even worried about that.” He eases out a breath. “Okay. Good. That’s good.” “But tell me more about this tongue thing. I can do that to his ass?” Jason drops his face into his hands. Yeah. I think this whole queer-awakening thing is going smashingly.

“And you’re the one who designs all that,” Joey says, sounding almost proud. Which is…nice.

“Shit, bub,” he finally says, shaking his head slightly. “You’re pretty remarkable, you know that?”

Bub is literally my favorite nickname and I never see it in books and everyone hate it but I love it so much 😭😭😭😭

Do I get to play with your hardwood?” There’s a long beat of silence before Joey’s lips twitch. “You’re talking about my floors, aren’t you?” “What else would I be—Oh.” “Oh,” Joey repeats, grinning. He steps in close, fingertips pressing lightly to my stomach, his breath passing near my ear as my own hitches. “Either way, bub, the answer will be yes.”

the fact that Brad wants to hang out, doing something as simple and mundane as house renovations with me on his weekend? That means a lot.

When he sees I’m on the phone, he raises an eyebrow. “My mom,” I tell him. Brad nods, and before I know what’s happening, he’s plucking the phone out of my hand. He sets the call on speakerphone as I blink in shock. “Mama Delgado?” Brad says cheerfully. “Hi. Hello. I’m Brad, Joey’s new bestie.”

“Are you helping Joey with the house today?” “Oh, for sure,” Brad answers. “Brought some lunch, too. Can’t have my baby kangaroo going hungry.” “Your…baby kangaroo,” my mom says slowly. I drop my head. That…was still a secret.

“Like, kangaroos have strong legs, right? And so does Joey. And obviously he needed a name.” “Obviously,” she agrees. “Do you have one?” “In general or Joey-specific?” Brad asks, setting the phone on the kitchen table as he starts pulling our lunch out of a to-go bag. “I suppose specifically from my son.” Brad nods, even though she can’t see it. “I’m his bub.”

“That’s sweet, darling.” “Isn’t it?” Brad says, looking at me with a happy grin...

“But you’re welcome to join me. It’s my mom’s birthday.” Brad perks. “If it’s not an imposition,” he says, even as he’s grinning. “Not at all,” my mom answers. “Come. I insist.” Brad’s palpable excitement makes it hard to remember this won’t be my…boyfriend meeting my mom. Not yet, at least.

“You’ve never flown?” “Never had a reason to,” Brad mutters. He shoots me another small smile. “But hey, it’ll be an adventure. Like the pool! You know, a lot of my firsts are turning out to be with you, Joey-roo.”

“Hello, brad. I’m Brad. Prepare to meet your doom, as there can only be one.” I wonder if he’d prefer a spring or fall wedding.

“You think I’m gorgeous?” “More than,” he says seriously. “I thought that the first time I saw you laughing, bub. I was pretty stoked when you gave me your number.” I groan, dropping my forehead to his hip. “Yeah, sorry about that?” “I’m not,” he says, fingers threading through my hair. I look up again, and I’m taken aback by the sincerity in his eyes. The softness, even. “It led us here, didn’t it?”

“Anytime you want a hug,” I tell him seriously, “I’ll give you one. Be it six seconds long or sixty.” He lets out a happy sigh, leaning back and giving me his weight. His voice, when he speaks, is quieter. “Thanks, Joey. It’s underrated, you know? Just…holding someone. Being held. People take for granted what such a simple form of contact can do. But I’ve always thought… Well, I think I might like it more than sex.”

How do I tell this man he’s quite possibly the loveliest person I’ve ever met? That I admire him and respect him. That I want him to keep surprising me with his kindness and grace, just as much as I want to hear the rambling words that so frequently fall out of his mouth.

I want to know every single piece of him, top to bottom, inside and out. I want to spend my life learning who he is. Falling, again and again, in small swoops and in large ones.

Because what Brad and I are building—what we have been from the start—feels stronger than any other connection I’ve had. It’s a foundation I could see holding us up for years, decades to come if we let it. Assuming, when all is said and done, this home we’re crafting…is one Brad wants to keep.

“Hugging okay?” She waves me forward. “Get in here.” With a grin, I curl my arms gently around the woman who raised the most perfect man.

“I guess I can see why you miss the water.” He hums lightly. “I do, but… I don’t regret the move. And Las Vegas…it’s really grown on me.” “Like mold?”

Jason was the first person who accepted me as I am. Who made my life a happy one. Now, there’s you.” “Bub,” Joey says, nearly a whisper. “I know we haven’t known each other for long,” I rush on. “But you’re one of my closest friends. You’re my people now. My Joey Kangaroo. So just…you better get used to me being around, man, because I’ve already claimed you. And I’m not that easy to shake.”

I interlace the fingers of our right hands together, bracing my left just below his stomach. “You’re gorgeous,” I tell him, punching my hips. He gasps, and I repeat the motion, relishing the sound he makes. “You’re good. And kind. And so fucking sexy it kills me sometimes.”

Because I liked Joey before I realized I liked his stomach. Because sex wasn’t the first thing I wanted from him. It was simply to be close. To know him better.

I don’t tell Joey that includes the whole oops, I kinda want to shack up with my gym-bro in a till death do us part sorta way realization. At least, maybe I do? But that’s not something one blurts before being absolutely sure. Hell, even then, there’s probably a standard waiting period, right? Like, at least six months before admitting you want joint bank accounts?

I decide, despite the limitations of my body, I’m going to try very hard to have Joey’s babies.

“Ooh, I’ll make a calendar! Color-coded, of course. You’ll probably want to keep some stuff at my place, right? I can clear out a drawer. And maybe I could have some space in your closet? You wouldn’t mind me stocking some better coffee beans in your kitchen, would you? Your stuff is okay, but honestly, Joey, you could do better.

“You did good, bub.” He preens, even as his cheeks flush.

“Your mom is lovely, and she should know it. I’ll miss her when we go back.” “Yeah,” I say, my chest feeling tight. Not only because yes, I’ll miss my mom, too. But because of the effortless way in which Brad adores her and has from the beginning, as if there was never any doubt. As if, maybe, he loves her simply because I do.

But being here with these people, the water lapping at the shore and the sun starting its descent in the sky, I feel immeasurably content. Happy in a way I don’t remember being since I was a child.

“There are three candles. Why don’t we all make a wish?” I don’t hesitate. I wish… That I never have to give this up.