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It’s not that I’ve been stalking Brad. Truly, I haven’t. But I caught sight of him last week in nearly this exact same spot, and…fuck. It’s like I was struck on impact. The guy was smiling while doing burpees, of all things, his eyes bright and his enthusiasm infectious even from across the street. And when he tossed his head back, laughing at something his friend was saying? I had the distinct thought that Christ, I’d give anything to hear him laugh for me like that. This guy I didn’t even know.
Fuck. This man. I barely know him, and I’m already wondering what kind of fence he’d like around his backyard. White picket?
“Yeah, man. It’s been a while for me, you know? I miss, just, like…touching someone. Holding.” Fu-u-uck. How long would it take to custom-order a ring?
I nod. And nod again, charmed beyond words. Charmed by this man and his whipped cream and the easy yet confident way he walks through life. Charmed by his lack of propriety and how goddamn refreshing that is. Charmed, even, by the tiny cowlick at the back of his head.
I huff a laugh and pick my fork up again. “Whatever you think, bub.” His eyes widen to a ridiculous degree. “B-U-B. Bub. Holy crap! I never realized.” He lets out a small laugh, sounding so pleased my chest warms. “That’s pretty perfect, isn’t it?” “It is,” I agree, trying not to think too hard about why the endearment felt so good to say. Nor why this right here feels like an infinitely better date than my brief meeting with Lewis, even though this isn’t a date at all. No, I don’t linger on any of that. I enjoy my dinner beside Brad Ulysses Bradley, and when he asks me to tell him more about
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“He’s like… If niceness were a man,” I say. “His eyes are warm like brownies. And he’s all muscly in a kinda soft way? Like a loaf of challah. Add some chocolate sprinkles on top for his hair, and there you have it.”
Brad talking about Joey
“Plus,” Brad goes on, utterly serious, “you make people happy, Joey. You’re calm and patient and genuinely kind. You’re flexible in your thinking, but not so much that you’d compromise your morals. And I’m not sure if you know this, but sometimes you smell like sawdust. Like those happy memories you mentioned from your childhood. I could see that becoming someone else’s happy memory, too, you know? You’re a catch. Inside and out. And someday, you’re going to make the right guy very happy.” Holy fuck. Just… Absolute fucking fuck.
Family isn’t always given, you know? Sometimes it’s earned. And I think that makes it all the more important. Choosing to love? I don’t think there’s anything greater than that.”
“Hey, Joey?” I say, trying not to let my nerves show. He waits patiently. Always patient. “So, uh, it turns out I really like your face. And, if you’re still amenable, I’d very much like to greet your tonsils with my tongue.” Joey blinks at me, the towel falling from his fingers. I cringe. Yeah, that could’ve gone better.
“Just…people,” I say with a shrug. “We have so many systems running at the same time under the surface. There’s a lot we’re feeling and thinking and going through, but when you look at a stranger moving throughout their day, you don’t see that. You’re not thinking about their life. You’re thinking about them in relation to you. It’s good, I think, to remember we’re all real under the surface. And the way we treat each other matters.” Joey holds my gaze for the longest moment, never breaking stride. “Shit, bub,” he finally says,
He has a smile on his face the entire time we work, and when I point out the nails he’s removing are called brads, he gleefully starts making jokes. “Fuck, that brad was tight. Really had to wiggle my way in.” “Heh. Wanna watch me hammer myself?” “Hello, brad. I’m Brad. Prepare to meet your doom, as there can only be one.” I wonder if he’d prefer a spring or fall wedding.
“Anytime you want a hug,” I tell him seriously, “I’ll give you one. Be it six seconds long or sixty.” He lets out a happy sigh, leaning back and giving me his weight. His voice, when he speaks, is quieter. “Thanks, Joey. It’s underrated, you know? Just…holding someone. Being held. People take for granted what such a simple form of contact can do. But I’ve always thought… Well, I think I might like it more than sex.”
“I think…” I take a breath and start again. “You said once that hugging releases endorphins that make people happy and calm. Since meeting you, I’ve been more calmly happy than I can remember being in a really long time. Maybe ever. You’re like a hug, Brad. Always. Whether or not we’re touching. So if this gives
Which means… Which means I wanted a romantic relationship with Joey before I ever wanted a sexual one. Holy shit. No wonder I demanded our bros-with-bennies sitch include exclusivity. I didn’t want Joey falling for anyone else. Don’t. Don’t want that.
you, and I decide, despite the limitations of my body, I’m going to try very hard to have Joey’s babies.
“None of them have your green eyes, Brad. None of them will feel the same wrapped around me at night. None of them are capable of being what I need because I’m already in love with you. I love you, okay? So no. You told me not to settle, and I’m not settling for anyone but the man I love. I’m not giving you up without a fight, got it?” The curve of Brad’s slowly burgeoning smile takes me momentarily off guard. I don’t understand what he has to smile about, but then he says, “Joey. It’s me. I’m the date.”
I’m not sure I could have dreamed up Joey Delgado even if I tried. Falling in love with my friend? With someone I can be silly with and be honest with, someone I can play video games with, go to the gym with, be myself with…
