More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
The Birdie to my Bee. My kindergarten bestie turned lifelong brother.
“What’s a foot five?” “Like, you just hold out your foot…like this…” He watches my demonstration but doesn’t put his own foot out in return. That’s fine.
it was not fine lmfao
He huffs a laugh. “This is a long hug.” “I know, man. It’s great. Did you know if you hug someone for at least six seconds, your body releases endorphins that make you happy and calm? And the longer you go, the more endorphins you get. Kinda like sex, probably.”
Joey covers his face. I think he’s laughing, considering the shake of his shoulders, but on the off chance he’s crying instead, I push a few more napkins his way.
Brad: Joseph-broseph, my man!
“I take it you didn’t want to piss on him?” “No,” I say plainly, huffing another laugh. “I did not.”
Shauna Voigt liked this
I’ll switch that whole watersports thing to motorboating. No way to confuse that.”
“Your name…is Brad Bradley?”
“He’s like… If niceness were a man,” I say. “His eyes are warm like brownies. And he’s all muscly in a kinda soft way? Like a loaf of challah. Add some chocolate sprinkles on top for his hair, and there you have it.” “Sounds…edible,” Jason mumbles.
“He’s in construction,” I answer, sending Joey a wink. “Knows his way around the ol’ nuts and bolts. Really good at…screwing?” That doesn’t sound right. “At least, I assume,” I go on quickly. “I haven’t experienced it firsthand yet, but I’m hoping one day Joey will show me his equipment.”
How can Brad be so blind to the things he says. lmfao
“That dude was flirting?” “He was flirting,” Joey confirms. “Oh my God,” I whisper, looking around. The guy is long gone. “I didn’t even realize! He wasn’t very good at it.”
“J-bae, my dude,
“What about ‘green’? You know, like the stoplight system? Green means you’re good to go.” Joey gives me an odd look. “Do you use the stoplight system often?” “I mean… I drive, so yes?”
Joey rubs his temple. “Have you actually been in the back rooms?” “Honest mistake,” I tell him. “I thought there was candy.”
I just know Joey is thinking about why tf he likes Brad right now
“Ready to eat my butt?” Joey’s eyes flare wide. “Shit, that wasn’t right,” I mutter. It only takes a second to click. “Ah. Ready to eat my dust?” “Did you just combine that with the phrase ‘kick my butt’?” Joey asks.
“Joey-broey,” he says in greeting, smiling like always.
“The fuck. I feel like a terrible friend for not knowing that.” “Hey, man. It’s okay. Not your fault. I bet you didn’t know I like having my face sat on, either. Some things just don’t come up in conversation.”
“Ugh. You’re not even struggling,” he complains, pressing the pillow against me harder before tossing it away. “It’s no fun if you don’t struggle.”
“Yeah. Yep. Count me in. Do I get to play with your hardwood?” There’s a long beat of silence before Joey’s lips twitch. “You’re talking about my floors, aren’t you?” “What else would I be—Oh.” “Oh,” Joey repeats, grinning. He steps in close, fingertips pressing lightly to my stomach, his breath passing near my ear as my own hitches. “Either way, bub, the answer will be yes.”
Step six in Brad’s Guide to Finding Himself and Falling in Love: Wade fearlessly into the unknown.
“Standing cuddles?” he asks, closing the fridge door. “I can get on board with that.” I snort. “I think it’s called a hug.”
I puff out a breath. “Who looked up at the sky one day and thought, ‘We should fly like birds! That sounds like a great idea. Not dangerous in the least to be so far above the ground.’ I don’t have wings, Joey. I was not made for flight.” He gives me an odd look. “But aren’t you Bee?”
I pay attention to every word, clocking where the closest emergency exit is, visually planning who I’ll have to step over to get there. At least there are no children in the way, so I won’t have to feel guilty.
“You give great hugs. It’s so nice to meet you, darling. How was your flight?” “Horrible,” I say happily.
“I…really want to make a joke right now.” “About…” “About climbing you like the sturdy tree you are and finding a nice branch to fit between my legs. In case it’s not clear, your dick is the branch.”
“Multitasking. I like it. Question, though. How do I, like, hold the water in like it says to?” Jason must be back because he says, “You just…hold it.” “Right. But how?” “You hold it,” he says firmly. “Like…just hold it.” “Right,” I say again, slower. “But how do I do that?” “I got this,” Cas says calmly. “You know when you’re worried about passing gas in public?” “Ohhh,” I say in understanding. “You just hold it.” “For fuck’s sake,” Jason grumbles.
“This doesn’t feel right.” “What do you mean?” he asks, a bit of concern in his voice. “I don’t know. Can you just…look around back?” “You want me to check the back door?” “Yeah, man, take a peek at the back entrance. What else would I be—Oh, fuck. Need your hands up front. On me, on me!”
As someone who games, this is pretty fucking accurate
“What I should have said is I love how you make me feel,”
“I should have told you that you make me happy. And that I’m so grateful you trust me in this way.”
“I should have said you make my life brighter, bub. That every day you’re in it is better simply because it has you.”
“Do I…know you from somewhere?” I ask, that feeling of déjà vu returning with Niko, same as Alex. Niko smirks.
I frown, eyeing the one who does in fact resemble a teddy bear. “Do I know him?” I mutter aloud. Brad snorts.
“Morning, Greg,” I mumble, shifting as I wake up. “It’s not morning, bub,” a familiar voice says, soft and sweet. “And that’s not Greg. Just a microphone.”
“Pst. Joey. Joey-roo. Wanna pollinate me later?” He turns to me slowly. “You know,” I hedge, bouncing my eyebrows. “With your stamen. I’ll do a little”—I wiggle my fingers—“and you’ll give me your sunflower seed.” Alex leans around Joey to stare at me.
Step eight in Brad’s Guide to Finding Himself and Falling in Love: Never give up on your dreams.
“Nope. No. I’m getting sidetracked. Just…wait for me in the bedroom?” Brad takes a step backwards, a mischievous glint in his eye. “Ooh, wait for you. Kinky. I like it.” “How is that kinky?” I ask slowly.
If you happen to see a ‘Property of Brad’ fanny pack show up in your closet, don’t worry about it, okay?”
“Birdie!” “Fuck my life,” my bestie from another nestie mutters, his arms squashed at his sides as I hug him tight.
“What’s this?” I ask, pulling the flap open and looking inside. “A two-year subscription for Elite 8 Studios,” Niko says from Dixon’s side, waggling his eyebrows. “We all chipped in.” “You guys got me online porn?” I ask, tearing up. “That’s so fucking thoughtful.”
“This list is quite possibly the best thing I’ve accomplished in my entire life. Because, as it turns out, it was ten ways to accidentally fall in love. And every step led me to you.”
