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No, I don’t think he’ll wreck me. Not intentionally. But I’m well and truly fucked when it comes to Joey Delgado.
“Oh my God,” he mumbles. “Can you see my ass right now?” “Yes,” I tell him, smoothing my hands up his backside. “That okay?” “Yeah, yep,” he says, hands settling to either side of my hips. “Just feeling a bit exposed here. No biggie. Hello, Greg. You’re looking very handsome today. Have you always been this…robust?”
“Stop being so wonderfully thoughtful and get your fingers in my ass, dude.”
“Does it turn you on knowing no other dick has been in my body but yours? That no one has staked a claim inside of me but you?” “Jesus, Brad.” “Come on, Joey. Pump me full. I want to feel what it’s like to be marked. Wanna know you’re the one leaving a piece of yourself inside of me.”
Gold wedding bands or silver? Ah, well. I guess I have time to figure it out.
Pretty sure I’m a cock slut now. Who knew?
“So,” I say, grabbing a container of fried rice, “how are we all feeling about snowballing? ’Cause it sounds hot.” Jason throws his hands in the air. “I was eating.” “And I’m curious about sharing jizz through the tender magic of kissing. What’s the big deal?”
Joey huffs a laugh as I do my best to focus on my chest presses and not the way I want Joey to press me between his thighs.
It’s not every day a person professes their undying love. I’m damn well gonna do it in style.
“Thank you,” I manage, knowing it’s not enough. For someone to tell you repeatedly that they like you just as you are… That they accept you, possibly even love you, for exactly who you are… How do you say thank-you for that?
Joey and I spent together will be the first of so many more to come. I just have to ask if he wants the same thing I do. A lifetime of bennies. A partnership. Love.
“None of them have your green eyes, Brad. None of them will feel the same wrapped around me at night. None of them are capable of being what I need because I’m already in love with you. I love you, okay? So no. You told me not to settle, and I’m not settling for anyone but the man I love. I’m not giving you up without a fight, got it?”
his eyes closing briefly before they’re on me again. “You love me?” Fuck. “I do,” I say, despite the way my nerves are flayed open. “Good,” he says firmly. “Because I’m kinda in love with you, too, dude. And you not feeling the same way would’ve really spoiled this whole grand gesture thing I’m trying to pull off.”
“I don’t want you with anyone else, Joey. And I don’t want to be with anyone else, either. I’m sorry I fucked this up, but I was trying to tell you thirty days isn’t nearly enough time for me. Not when it comes to you. I’d like to share all your days if that’s something you’d like, too. I can’t promise to always get things right. I mean, case in point right here. But I can promise I’ll always do my best. Because you’re worth it. You’re my baby kangaroo-roo. And, if you’ll let me, I’ll be your boomer.”
“Fuck, bub,” I rasp out, my relief mixing with a heavy dose of joy and so much affection it’s physically painful. “Are you saying you want to be my Daddy?”
“You gonna be good and take my cock later, son?” Oh. My. God. “I fucking love you,” I tell him. Brad beams. “I love you, too, man! Does this mean we’re gonna be dude-bros for life? Two halves of the same man-sammie? You can be my bro-nilla milkshake, and I’ll be your—”
He’s everything I didn’t know I wanted, never thought I’d get, and can’t bear to let go of.
“You’ll stay with me, Baby?” His smile widens at my question, and he throws his arms out wide. “Yeah, Johnny. ’Cause I’ve…haaad—” “Oh boy.” “—the time of my—” “Are we really doing this?” “—li-i-ife, and I—” “Dude,” some guy says, stopping beside us. “Are you doing Dirty—” “Dirty Dancing, dude, fuck yeah!” Brad says, holding out his hand. The guy slaps his palm. “Good movie.”
“Ooh, wait for you. Kinky. I like it.” “How is that kinky?” I ask slowly. He takes another step up the stairs, winking at me. “Dear Lord. Please don’t be doing anything weird when I get up there,” I plead. He winks harder before turning and running up the stairs.
“Holy,” Brad wheezes. “You… The tool belt, and… Naked. Joey… You’re a slutty carpenter.”
“Treat me like your throne, king, and sit on my motherfucking face.”
“Get over here and sit on my face, man. I want my tongue up your ass.” “Fuck me.” “And then that, yes,” I heartily agree.
I don’t know if I have a commitment kink or if it’s just Joey, but the mental flash of us old and gray hits me, and I have to slap the side of Joey’s ass, urging him to give me an inch of room so that I can breathe. Because, suddenly, my throat is so tight getting air is difficult.
“Son, get those balls in my mouth. Now.” Joey coughs out what I think is a laugh. “You know I don’t actually have a Daddy kink, right?” “Oh, thank fuck,” I breathe. “Because honestly? I have absolutely no clue how that works.”
“Fuck. You’re so pretty. I can’t wait to find your prostate, then poke the ever-loving fuck out of it.”
“I’m going to make you really happy,” I tell him hoarsely. “You already do.”
And me and my douche bulb have come to an agreement, so anytime you wanna plow me, you just let me know. My ass is yours.” “That might be the most romantic thing anyone has ever offered me,” he says, sounding fond.
Goddamn it, I’m going to walk with this man down the aisle.
I’m not sure I could have dreamed up Joey Delgado even if I tried. Falling in love with my friend? With someone I can be silly with and be honest with, someone I can play video games with, go to the gym with, be myself with… Like Jason said, maybe it was simply inevitable. But I sure didn’t see it coming. I guess in the end, I really crushed this whole wingman thing, didn’t I? I found Joey his guy. The one who will love him for all he is and all he will be. And, as it turns out, I found my person, too.
So don’t ever think loving you—all of you—is a hardship. Because it’s not. It’s the easiest thing.”
“I’ve never loved anyone the way I love him,” I tell my mom. “How do I protect him? How do I keep him safe?” “Oh, honey,” my mom says softly. “You don’t. It’s not your job to stop everything life will throw at the two of you. You couldn’t even if you tried. It’s your job to hold his hand. To stay at his side and work through it together. You’ll heal each other over time whenever anything bad happens. That’s just how it goes. As long as he knows you’re there for him, there with him, he’ll always feel safe.”
“Joey,” Brad says in amusement, snorting as he holds up a piece of chicken with his fork. It’s covered in syrup from his waffles. “Look. This chicken strip looks like a peen, dude! It even has two balls, see? Well, maybe one and a half. Something definitely happened to the second one. But still.” He wiggles the chicken a bit. “Think I can get it down in one bite?” Yep, that’s the one. I’m going to spend the rest of my life loving that man. I can’t wait.
Although, just to be clear, I’m not sharing you with anyone. You’re my exclusive kangaroo. No one’s getting all up in your pouch except for me.” He shakes his head, even though there’s a smile on his face. “My pouch is all yours.”
“You guys got me online porn?” I ask, tearing up. “That’s so fucking thoughtful.”
“Joey Kangaroo, can I twerk on you?”
It sure feels as if my heart could fly away given the chance, if only to find a home within this man looking at me with love in his eyes.
“I love you so much it hurts,” he says vehemently. “And I never want it to stop.”
It’s him. He’s what I was missing. The home I never had.
He’s always there, arms ready. It’s one of my favorite things about him, really.”
Over four years ago, Joey Delgado became a friend. He’s still that. Always will be. But he’s also the love of my life. He’s the person whose smile I wake up to each morning. He’s the one to greet me after a long day with a hug. He’s the one who can settle me with a simple press of his lips to mine. That’s love. That’s what love is capable of. It’s grounding. Reassuring. It’s comfort and safety and that bubbling in your chest that never quite goes away. It’s the reason we’re here today and what led to step ten.”
“This list is quite possibly the best thing I’ve accomplished in my entire life. Because, as it turns out, it was ten ways to accidentally fall in love. And every step led me to you.”
“I thought I was finding myself,” I tell my husband. “But instead, I found you. So here’s to Joey Francis Delgado-Bradley.”
“Do you remember what I wished for?” I think back, his words sparking a memory. “Happiness,” I recall. “On our first non-date date, you said if you could wish for anything, it’d be happiness.” “I found that with you.” “Fuck, Joey.”
“Every day with you is my new favorite day, bub. Yes, we have fun. But more than that, you make me so damn happy I have trouble remembering what that word meant before you. You made it something different. Something our own. I’m so unbelievably lucky I get to spend the rest of my days as your husband, sharing that happiness with you.”
I married my friend. My kangaroo. I guess now all that’s left to do is be ridiculously happy together. Big. Fat. Check.
