I learned that she’d tried pot when she was fifteen. That part of the reason she’d been so excited about me going to college was that she had dropped out her senior year. That when I was six days old, she’d shown up at a pediatrician’s appointment without a bra on, because she hadn’t gotten any sleep since I’d been born. That she secretly prayed at night, despite telling Lucrecia that she still didn’t believe in God. That she wanted to move away from Idaho. That she still thought about my dad a lot. That she wished she’d had more kids. I listened and watched and wished I could tell her that I
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