Scotch on the Rocks

by Elliot Fletcher

Falling in love with Juniper Ross felt like stepping into oncoming traffic.

But mostly . . . I avoided her, because every time I saw Juniper Ross, she owned me a little bit more.

“Juniper. Tell me this is a bad idea. Tell me . . . tell me I’m not for you.” When I remained silent, he thumbed my chin up until our eyes locked. His expression was caught somewhere between fierce arousal and panic. “You need to be the one to say it. I can’t walk away from you on my own.”

“Oh, come on.” April nudged me with her elbow. “We’re adorable.” They were adorable. So adorable being in the same room as them was enough to get a toothache. “You’re definitely something.”

That because I’d given up on love, I would spread that onto my friend?

He thought he had me by the balls. Little did he know Juniper had been carrying those around in her purse for the last eight years.

And I stopped seeing Juniper as his and she became mine. Mine to provoke, love and protect, if only from afar.

“To remember—” The words rose up my throat, tangling at the tip of my tongue. “Someone can swear you’re the love of their life a thousand times, that doesn’t make it true.”

No, he hadn’t cheated. Sometimes I wished he had so I could look back and pinpoint the moment it all went wrong. A reason to rage and scream. A reason to burn his pictures and cut up his clothes. When a person abandons you for the simple reason of not loving you enough, everything becomes very . . . quiet. A small wound that lingers, festering beneath the surface.

“Still hate me, sweetheart?” The words were a whisper on the shell of my ear. Sweetheart. That was new. I swallowed. “Undoubtedly.” “Good. Just making sure.”

remembered the overwhelming horror on her face when the cows crowded in. How she’d screamed, “I’m a vegan!” right before she hit the floor, as though they should have sensed her allyship and taken it easy on her. And I wanted to laugh all over again.

“Have a nice shower.” And with that parting line, I fled. Have a nice shower? Real fucking smooth.

You get prettier every time I see you, I wanted to tell her, unaware of stepping closer, or my knuckle tracing down the line of her stomach pausing on the button of her jeans.

For all my talk, I was so pathetic for her, I’d be crawling to her on my hands and knees before the week was through.

There was something – something – about seeing your woman in your clothes.

“Striving not to take up space in this world is an impossible long-term goal, sweetheart. I like a little bit of mess.”

Usually seeing my shy brother’s face light up felt like a warm hand curled around my heart. But right then, their happiness only entrenched the sting of loneliness settling into my bones.

“Allow me to be crystal clear this time.” My eyes bounced between hers. “I wanted to fuck you because you’re you, that never changes. But I also knew why you wanted me. I’m not a good man, sweetheart. I’ve betrayed my brother in my mind more times than I can count, and I couldn’t have lived with myself if I’d selfishly taken what you offered when it was little more than pain-fuelled revenge for you.” Biggest regret of my life. Well, second, it sat right below letting Alistair meet her first.

“What isn’t fair is you moving between my brothers like they’re a damn selection box. You know what’s happening with Dad – the last thing my family needs is you causing more tension.” You, as though I were a stranger she’d encountered for the first time.

Ouch

“You want me.” I spat the words like an accusation. He didn’t even blink. “I never pretended otherwise, sweetheart.” “But . . . you’re always nice to everyone but me.” The statement sounded about as juvenile as it felt. Even more so after everything he’d confessed. “You don’t like nice,” he said it with infuriating certainty. I know you, harpy. I raised my chin. “Perhaps I enjoy nice sometimes.”

“You want nice, harpy, just say the word. I’ll be the nicest man you’ve ever met.” The words were a tease against my ear. His hot breath stroking my pulse, sending it soaring. He wanted me. He’d always wanted me. The knowledge was thrilling. Terrifying.

“I don’t know why I enjoy this little game we play so much, but I do know that every time you look at me with that furious little scowl, I want to fuck it right off your face. That’s all I’ve wanted since that day on the train when it took me less than a second to fall completely under your spell.” Something ugly snaked through my gut and he caught my chin before I could look away. “One day you’re going to tell me exactly what went down between you and Alistair – why you hold on to that damn ring – so I can make sure I never see that doubt in your eyes ever again.

“I’ve had a long time to get here, sweetheart. To realise these feelings aren’t wrong – that you were never meant to be his.” His eyes traced over my features. Waiting.

How dare they hurt this woman who’d faced more heartache in her short life than many others could survive. No wonder she kept everyone at arm’s length. I could force her out of her shell all I wished, but it would never fix the root of the problem.

“While you’re taking care of other people, who’s taking care of you?” The question took me by surprise. “I don’t need anyone to take care of me.” Another lie. I’d let her take care of me. And I’d take care of her right back.

these boys you grant the privilege of being in your bed, they don’t like letting you take the lead?”

“Can you just shut the fuck up?” “That’s the weirdest thank you I’ve ever heard.”

Those too-short minutes I’d had her beneath me changed everything, while for her, it might have meant nothing at all.

For the first time, I wanted to make room in my heart for something good. Even if that good was carried on timid wings, not quite certain they were strong enough to make the flight. I wanted Callum.

This was so bloody wrong – all of it – still I gave myself a second to sink into his grip. “This is why last night should never have happened.” Backing up, I swiped at my face again. “Between Alistair and Heather, it’s too complicated.” “It doesn’t have to be.” He made it sound so easy. “Alistair—” “Alistair is a fucking idiot.” He was before me in a heartbeat, his own breathing erratic as he hissed, “It’s what I think now and it’s what I told him then. He could have had—” He shook his head, pupils blown as he looked at me with a fierceness that raked like claws across my heart. “He never deserved you.”

Keeping my emotions to myself didn’t make me repressed. I just preferred to handle my shit alone, like I always had.

“The people who are meant to be in your life won’t reject you for not being perfect, Juniper. If they do, they were never your people.”

“I also know those words mean nothing if you can’t see it. You need to see yourself and advocate for yourself, only then will you not give a shit when someone who isn’t worth an ounce of the breath in your lungs decides they don’t want to be in your life.”

“When?” I expected him to laugh. Instead, he kissed my pulse. “When you trust that I’m in this.” A squeeze at my hip. “When I’m certain you’re comfortable with the idea of us.” Us. We were an us. Us hadn’t worked out well for me, not ever.

“I hate keeping secrets, so I’d prefer to tell him. But you’re in charge here. We tell him when you’re ready.” “Why am I in charge? You should get a say too.” “Because I’m already there, Juniper. I’m sorry if that freaks you out, but, hell – one word from you and I’ll announce it with a bell on the high street like the fucking town crier.”

He couldn’t break things off only to have a say who she moved on with.

I love this woman. I love her in a way that makes me understand why people would so willingly die for it.

Is this how Mal feels all the time? Bloody hell. The strength it must take him just to step foot out his front door every morning.

“Well, Alistair’s a doctor. If he’s to be respected in the village, he’ll need a good woman on his arm, not a snake-tongued lass who’s slept with half the island and dresses as though she’s eager to take on the rest.”

Rude

“Tell me, would you have done anything differently if it were April?” I bit out. “If she’d been mine first? Would it have stopped you, or would you have taken whatever scraps she deigned to offer and be fucking thankful for it? Look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn’t have lied and betrayed every single person in your life for a single night with her. Knowing you might never get another.” He didn’t need to answer. The violent thrumming of his jaw was enough. “Think less of me if you must, but don’t ask me to stop because I won’t.”

“Before, I thought the torture of wanting you but never having you would be enough to kill me and now, fuck . . . I haven’t even had you, not really, and you’ve ruined me.” His hand scrubbed across his ruined lip. I wasn’t certain he even felt the pain. “If I’m in your bed, sweetheart, I need to know exactly why I’m there or – or I’m out.”