The advice about “it being different when they’re your own” is another favorite among the advice-givers. The implication here is that whatever concerns or doubts you might have about parenting—whether it’s the responsibility, the lifestyle change, or the sheer magnitude of the commitment—will magically dissolve the moment you hold your own child in your arms. While this sentiment is undoubtedly true for many parents, it assumes that the only barrier to wanting children is a lack of personal experience, rather than a deliberate and reasoned decision based on one’s desires and life goals.
