Power Forward (Chicago Thunder, #4)

by Jodi Oliver

Fuck. I hate that my body still comes alive whenever he’s around. A feeling that I’ve only ever experienced with him. And I hate it even more so because he’s the only person to ever break my heart. My ex-teammate. My first love. Hayden Cassidy.

Jackson Wilde has always been the one who got away. The one who was the reason why I could never completely hand my heart over to my ex-wife, Zara.

It was because he still owned it. Even now. Almost fourteen years later, he still has a tight hold on me.

And while I’m trying my best at doing all of that, it’s remembering who I am too. Not as Jackson Wilde, forward for the Chicago Thunder and alternate captain, or Dad. It’s remembering I’m also Jackson Wilde, the guy who enjoys cooking and listening to Frank Sinatra and enjoys lazy Sundays in bed with a good thriller. Because outside of every other hat I wear, I’m not sure I remember who I am anymore. And it kinda sucks.

“I hear you’ve got some of my hockey cards,” he murmurs. I laugh softly, hands skimming his ribs. “Who told you that?” “Your son.” I snort. Of course Ryan told him. “The little shit. I told him to keep that a secret.” He lifts his head to look at me with one eyebrow raised. “You wanna know a secret?” “Yeah,” I croak. “I have yours too. I keep them in my office.” “You do?” He kisses one corner of my mouth, then the other. “Yeah. It’s always been you, Jax.” And I know, right there and then, while we exchange tired kisses and gentle strokes of hands over skin, that it’s always been Hayden for me too.

“I won’t fail you a second time, Jackson,” I whisper, carding my fingers through his hair. “I swear to you, I’ll be loving you every day for the rest of my life.”

As I watch the three of them laugh and joke over the stolen gingerbread, I make a silent oath that while I’m on this earth, I’ll never do anything to risk hurting them. I’m still a work in progress, and I’m never going to be truly fixed, but they are quickly becoming my entire world. And I’ll do anything to protect their happiness.

“I love you, Hayden Issac Cassidy. I’ve always loved you, and I will continue to love you. I’ll love you so fucking hard you won’t ever question it.”

“But most of all, I’d like to spend every day with you. I want to spend the rest of my life waking up next to you and falling asleep in your arms. I’d like to spend Christmas mornings with you, watching the kids open their gifts with so much excitement they don’t know what to open first. I’d like lazy Sundays with you, making pancakes and stealing kisses whenever the kids aren’t looking. I’d like to grow old with you—well, older, because fuck, Jax, that day we went to the market made me feel about one hundred and three.”