Masked Sins (Ravaged Castle, #4)

by Amanda Richardson

“My body is unique and beautiful just the way it is,”

“You are beautiful. You are perfect just the way you are. Food is nourishment, not the enemy.”

Curse of being the youngest sibling who used to have a drinking problem, I suppose.

My therapist, Dr. Ludlow, had told me it was because I was the youngest, and the youngest children were always scrappy and resourceful. He’d also told me that because of my narcissistic father, who rarely displayed physical affection and was habitually cruel, it meant that I often thought of myself as a burden to others. That checks out. But no, I hadn’t given up drinking because I couldn’t stop. I’d given up drinking because I wanted to get my life together.

For so long, I had trouble identifying what I wanted. I put my needs last, always worrying, always trying to please everyone. I didn’t know what healthy boundaries looked like, and I struggled with vulnerability and intimacy.

I spent a lot of time learning how to do kink the right way. I took college courses on consent and sexuality. I made sure to attend talks and conferences when I could. It was a hobby for Chase and Liam, my two brothers in the lifestyle. But for me? It was my lifeboat. Becoming a Dominant saved me in more ways than one.

Kai chuckles darkly. “Righteous? I’m not righteous. I never said I don’t wish him pain for what he did to us or to Mom. Some days, I secretly hope he suffers. That doesn’t make me very holy, does it?” He pauses, balling his hands, which are resting on the table. “But I don’t want to talk about him anymore. Not right now.” His gray eyes bore into mine. “Tell me what’s bothering you.” “I’m worried I’m turning into him,” I admit. Kai’s brow furrows. “I don’t see it. For one, you’re a lot nicer than him, even when you’re being a jackass.” “Very funny.”

At least Kai has God. I have no one.

He pushes me to be honest and open. He challenges me. He sees me as an equal.

To be able to wield her desires like a weapon … is fucked up, but the temptation is too great.

I’d like to think I’m a good person, but when it comes to Layla, I’d gladly unravel her innocence, thread by thread.

Such a good little fuckdoll is one of his favorite phrases, as is my pretty little cumslut, which makes having company interesting sometimes.

I want you to be addicted to this kind of pleasure, little doll. I’m looking forward to turning you into my slutty little toy so that you exist only to bring me pleasure. Is that what you want? To be my fuckbunny? Bend over and spread those creamy thighs. Good girl … Doesn’t this feel nice? You were scared for nothing. Let Daddy take care of you and fill your pucker with my cum.

He likes historical fiction, and I like books where the hero tells the heroine, I love seeing my pretty little slut mouth take my cock.

My nerves are all over the place because I gave a strange man my home address. But my dad had helped me install a state-of-the-art security system when I bought the place, so I am at least protected that way. Besides, I hate to admit it, but if Starboy broke in wearing his mask, I’m not sure I’d be scared.

Letting go of the power food held over my head for so long was the key, and I now happily eat whatever I want until I’m satisfied.

She wants a villain? Well, I’m the one who can give it to her—the guy who buys her flowers and burns the world for her.

I want someone who will be all-consumed by me no matter what.

It’s so easy to descend into that darkness, to let it consume us. But sometimes if we’re lucky, we’re shown a light.

“Don’t you see? I’m kind to you. I’m generous—to you. Everything I do is for you, Layla. Doesn’t it bother you that I’d let the world burn to save you?”

“Sometimes I feel so different,” she says, looking up at me with a crease between her brows. “I know. And you know what? I realized that the people who matter the most are the ones who like you for who you are, not who they want you to be. It’s okay if you don’t fit into a certain group or if you feel like you stand out. Standing out is brave and strong. And I promise you, one day, you’ll find people who love you just as you are. And when that happens, you’ll be so glad you didn’t try to change for anyone else. If you ever feel down or alone, remember that there’s a whole world out there full of people who haven’t even met you yet but will care about you so much. It gets better, and you’ll find your people. For now, just keep being kind to yourself, because you deserve that.”

Swallowing, my feet stay planted. My hands curl at my sides, and I stare down at the man who was everything I wanted to be when I was younger, and everything I wanted to run away from more recently.

It strikes me then—we’re all better people than he ever was. And maybe that’s the point. Maybe all parents, even the bad ones, hope their offspring will be better off than they were.

“To being better,” I say, my voice breaking on the last syllable. The words are heavy, but they carry a promise I hope we can keep. “To being happier,” Miles says. His voice is soft, almost fragile, as if the weight of the moment could break him. “To being kinder,” Liam adds, placing an arm around my shoulder, his grip firm, grounding. I can feel the silent strength he offers, the way he’s holding us all up. Chase steps forward next, his jaw clenched, eyes wet but focused. “To being stronger,” he says, his voice rough with emotion. Not letting the Ravage name drag us down forever, I think. Kai is the last to speak, his hand trembling slightly as he places it over Dad’s. “To being braver,” he whispers, his voice barely above a breath. His words linger in the air, a quiet vow to face the future without fear.