Not Quite Dead Yet

by Holly Jackson

She unlocked the front door, and Reggie was at her feet in a rush of red fur and a helicopter tail, the happy squeaks he only made for her. He jumped up and pawed her knees. ‘Hello, hello, handsome. Who’s a good boy, huh?’ Jet bent to tickle him behind the ears. Those silly, long, English cocker spaniel ears.

Bubby mentioned

The dog ran off, skittering around the corner and back two seconds later. ‘Oh, did you bring me some dirty socks?’

Cookie in mouth, she reached into her pocket for her phone. Unlocked. Thumb finding Instagram before her eyes did.

Shes lit me

Pre-dead. Un-dead. Fuck sake, a zombie, that’s what she was. Talk about foreshadowing.

‘I’m finally going to do something, Mom. Something important. And I’m going to see it through to the end. This time will be different. It has to be different, because it’s my last chance.’ ‘Do something?’ Mom cried. ‘What do you mean? Do what?’ Something great. Something no one had ever done before. ‘I’m going to solve my own murder.’

‘But not through the front door, because they would have shown up on the doorbell camera, and they didn’t. Which means they must have known we had one.

‘And if they brought the murder weapon with them’ – Jet paused, not long enough to lose the budding thought – ‘that means they came here with one purpose. It wasn’t a stranger. It wasn’t a robbery gone wrong. It was someone I know. And they came here to kill me.’

‘10:46,’ Jet repeated. ‘That’s when it happened.’

Sophia nodded, too many nods, cartoon-quick. ‘Yeah, to drop off those cookies I baked. Don’t know if you saw them, pumpkins and bats.’ ‘Saw them,’ she said. ‘Ate two of them, before …’ ‘Oh,’ Sophia said. ‘They were fine. A little dry.’

‘Lovely.’ Jet grinned up at him. ‘I can see myself living here, for the rest of my life.’

‘Hey.’ Jet’s eyes burned into him. ‘You better not have been eavesdropping.’ ‘I wasn’t, I swear!’ ‘Tell anyone, and I’ll let your dad know about your freaky little porn collection.’

Billy had come over too now, placing a chair next to Jet’s, facing the wrong way, straddling it.

meow

‘I love it when you fight over me, honey,’ Jet told him, already breathless. ‘You got some balls now, huh, Billy Finney?’

‘Hey,’ she said, ‘your sledgehammer’s better than mine. Switch.’ It wasn’t the sledgehammer.

‘Stand back, Jet. Let me do a few.’

meow

‘Come any closer and Billy will hit you with a sledgehammer!’

‘I have to keep going. Come on, Billy.’ Billy came on. ‘I’ll take good care of her, Dianne. I promise,’ he said.

ugh my man

‘I have to keep going. Come on, Billy.’ Billy came on. ‘I’ll take good care of her, Dianne. I promise,’ he said.

YUMMMYYY IN MY TUMMY

Billy smiled, like he knew it. Ah, fuck sake, Billy Finney, looking at her with those sad blue eyes, a tug of warm guilt in her chest, sliding down to her belly.

She might not ever love me back, Wrong place or time or maybe neither. But she looks at me with those earthy eyes, And I’m not sure I can breathe ugh. Don’t think it’s in the cards or stars, Not on the same page or track. But, hell, I’m gonna play it, Because I wrote this little song … for her.

i hope thaa one day someone loves me like billy loves jet

‘Stop.’ He pulled his shirt up, hooking it over his nose, covering his face.

wait i want him

‘I’m not a monster,’ Jet scoffed, heading for the bathroom. ‘He’s in the closet. One of his arms fell off, though. Ooh, foreshadowing.’

‘And what will we be looking for?’ Billy folded his arms, hugged them over his chest, wearing the same shirt Jet had borrowed last night at the bar.

‘No problemo,’ Billy answered. ‘Keep the change, ya filthy animal.’ ‘Yippee ki-yay,’ Billy said, leaving the best bit for Jet: ‘Motherfucker.’ ‘OK, let’s go.’ Billy opened his door, stepped out.

Then his lips, pressing one kiss into her hair, staying there, his hot breath down her cold neck. Jet cried. And Billy stood there and took them all, holding up her towel.

Jet found Billy’s eyes and she found his. Hazel and blue. One blink and a thousand silent words.

You do have a secret, Dianne,’ the cat cut him off. ‘The one your family doesn’t know. Except Emily. She knew.’

wait this is peak

‘What year did she die?’ ‘2008.’

‘– reset her Facebook password,’ Jet hissed, stealing his thunder. He would have given it to her anyway, she knew; he was Billy after all.

She gave some back. ‘Yes, Billy, I love you.’ Billy tensed, tensed even more as Jet brushed against him, leaning forward, fingers on the trackpad.

aw my baby i love him so much

It was your funeral today. I sat with your family, held little Jet’s hand. I can’t believe you’re really gone. I’ll miss you forever. When I have a daughter, I’ll name her after you. Goodbye Emily.

‘So, she tells Nina the secret at school, on the Thursday. And then, on the Saturday, Emily … dies.’

‘Why didn’t you want to marry JJ?’ Billy asked, voice small, barely making it through the darkness.

‘Yeah,’ Billy said. ‘I’ve thought about leaving, I have.’ He glanced over at her, Jet saw in the corner of her eye. ‘But there was always something keeping me here.’

It’s a frog, see?’ Billy laughed. ‘Of course you see a frog. You love frogs.’ ‘You don’t see it?’ Billy breathed out, looked at her. ‘If it’s a frog to you, then it’s a frog to me.’

‘Love you,’ Jet said, opening the door. ‘S-sorry?’ Billy stuttered. ‘Talking to the dog.

He was already wet. Before.

‘That’s fine,’ Billy said, dropping his eyes. ‘You can love something without needing it to love you back.’