Terror at the Gates (Blood of Lilith, #1)

by Scarlett St. Clair

“Sin is our currency, girl,”

“Learn to let someone love you.”

Smoking kept my mind busy. Occupied. Without it, I craved other things. Untouchable things.

“I know you want an enemy here,” he said. “But I’m not it, little love.”

I needed a fucking cigarette, something to distract from the ache in my fucking balls, but I also didn’t want to think long or hard on what Lilith had said in the dining room. You act like this has to mean something. Fucking brat. She meant everything.

I knew the witch said demons didn’t really exist, but I thought these things made a pretty good argument to the contrary. “Are you telling me you actually paid attention?” “I didn’t become a heathen until my magic surfaced,” I said. “What’s your excuse?” “I was born this way,” he said.

There are good days, and there are days when the pain hits like a fucking freight train.”

“Promise me something,” he said, still watching me. “What?” “If you ever feel like you don’t want to do this anymore…tell me. Give me the chance to bring you back.”

“Only darkness would accuse the light of fear,”

“Desire is only a weakness when it’s starved.”

He kissed me like he owned me, something I’d never wanted before but suddenly realized I could live with, especially if it meant feeling like this every second of every day—high out of my fucking mind, on fire from the inside out, and not a single goddamn drug in my system.

“For you, I have all the time in the world.”

“Someday I will have to watch you marry another man, and it will be far easier to do if I never fuck you.”

That was a lie. It was never going to be easy.

“I love you like a brother,” said Gabriel once the door was closed. “Which is why I am telling you this. Lilith deserves commitment.” “I know what she deserves,” I said. “I’m just not sure she wants it.” You act like this has to mean something, she’d said the night Esther died. Sex can just be sex. “Maybe she doesn’t think that’s possible with you,” said Gabriel. I ground my teeth. That was exactly what she thought, because it was true, but I would break every rule for her if she said she wanted more.

“You want me to do something about it?” he asked. “You can’t,” I said. “Not without starting a war.” “I would go to war for you,” he said. I ceased breathing, thinking that I’d misheard him. I pulled back and met his gaze. He was usually so composed, but there was something unfiltered in the way he looked at me now—a raw confession of devotion. “What did you say?” His mouth lifted in a soft half smile as he swept his thumb over the edge of my lips. “I would go to war for you,” he said again. “I would fight endlessly to keep you if that’s what you wanted.”

Hold me tighter, Zahariev, she’d said. If I did, could I keep her from breaking?

They will call her a demon, but I watched her transform, and I will call her goddess.