Terror at the Gates (Blood of Lilith, #1)

by Scarlett St. Clair

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world…

Forgiveness was an invitation to sin. I witnessed it every week, which was why I’d decided a long time ago that I did not care to be forgiven. I’d rather be a sinner than a hypocrite.

We were not responsible for lust in men. We existed, and they desired.

religion bred hostility, especially toward women.

“You’re lying,” I said, shaking my head. “You’re such a terrible liar.” “You’re the only one who would say so, little love,” he replied. I was used to Zahariev’s nickname for me, but it still made me blush.

Beware she who bleeds, bound in chains. Beware the exile, the young winged beast, who dances unafraid before fire. Beware the woman with many names, the maiden, the whore, the scarlet serpent. Beware the temptress who whispers in the dark. She is the beginning and the end. She is peace and chaos. She is terror knocking at the gates.

For two hours straight, he made me write one sentence over and over: I will not question the authority of the church. When I started to grow tired and my penmanship became messy, he would hit the table with a ruler to startle me, but it wasn’t long before he hit me.

“Some children are born with demons in their hearts.”

There wasn’t a single man in Eden who thought loving me was worth the threat of my father. It was in these moments I realized no matter how far I traveled, no matter how deep the break, I would never escape my family.

“He asked me to make sure you were scheduled to attend your mother’s gala. He said you haven’t responded to his request.” “So you told him what? You’d make me?” “When have I made you do anything you don’t want to?” he asked.

“Keep the cat,” he said. “Learn to let someone love you.”

Straight to jail.

what makes something sacred other than the human belief that it is important?”

From a young age, I had been taught that I was responsible for Eve’s so-called sin. I was made to feel guilty for how easily she had been tempted to disobey God and for her temptation of Adam. Now that I was older, I suspected either Adam was just as responsible, or he had never been capable of critical thinking.

Running to Zahariev was the equivalent of running to my dad to get me out of trouble, and there were just some things that weren’t worth that kind of debt.

You act like this has to mean something. Fucking brat. She meant everything.

I’d only held on out of fear of not believing in something. What was the point of life without the promise of eternal paradise? But that was the great lie, wasn’t it? Life was life. It was as meaningful as I made it.

In my parents’ home, I was a child again, hurt and desperate for love.

I was certain she was embarrassed, but only about losing control in front of people, not because she’d hurt me. No one cared about that.

“I left because your beloved archbishop raped me,” I said. “I left because you never once considered that maybe the reason I’d wavered in my faith was because the man in charge of it had touched me. I left because I didn’t trust you to protect me. You never have. Not from Mom, not from the church, and not from this fucking world.”

“When you think of your legacy, I hope you remember this moment and how you failed me.”

“You want me to do something about it?” he asked. “You can’t,” I said. “Not without starting a war.” “I would go to war for you,” he said.

“I would go to war for you,” he said again. “I would fight endlessly to keep you if that’s what you wanted.”

“They were gone, Lilith,” Zahariev said. “When the power went out, Lisk messaged the families to return to their districts.”

Thats suspicious

“You are so quick to jump to the conclusion that I am not on your side. When have I not chosen you?”

If he couldn’t control us, then we were a risk.

Beware the serpent and his poisonous tongue. He will take your flesh on the steps of your altar. He will lie in your crimson blood. Beware the deceiver and his silver tongue. He will turn your temple into his monument. Beware the awakening, the heat of this fire. It will bind you beneath bleeding gates.

“She just lost her parents, asshole.”

Bless up

“Your mother isn’t dead, Lilith,” said Zahariev. “She’s missing.”

MOTHERFUCKER

“You think you’re brave for handling me?” “No one handles you, Lilith,” he said. “Good fucking luck to the man who tries.”

That was when I realized I was wrong, that there was no difference between what I wanted and what I would choose. The answer had always been Zahariev.

Holy woman, Mother of the dark world, Hold tight to your anguish, carry it deep Revel in the burn, that sweet agony Make your mark and open your mouth, Fill the night with your sacred screams Shatter the earth and never know peace.

She will ascend from the womb of her enemy, A temptress cloaked in night, a nightmare bound in chains. Her cries will rattle the earth. Her blood will break the gates.

“I have a duty to condemn the condemners,” he said. “I was a child,” I said.

They will call her a demon, but I watched her transform, and I will call her goddess.