Terror at the Gates (Blood of Lilith, #1)

by Scarlett St. Clair

To the women who were told they must submit to the dominance of man.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world…

Forgiveness was an invitation to sin. I witnessed it every week, which was why I’d decided a long time ago that I did not care to be forgiven. I’d rather be a sinner than a hypocrite.

My magic was the downfall of my obedience. It wasn’t until then I realized everything the church had tried to say about women was a lie. We were not responsible for lust in men. We existed, and they desired.

What I’d done tonight was illegal. I was not allowed to use my magic without some kind of male oversight. Since I was unmarried, my father dictated when and how I used my power, though even when I’d lived at home, he’d ignored my magic.

I imagined it was very uncomfortable for my father to know his daughter had developed sex magic at the age of eighteen.

religion bred hostility, especially toward women.

“Their judgment is fear, Lilith,” he said. “And fear is power.”

“She treats your territory like she owns it,” Cassius said when I stepped outside the holding room. “That is how Lilith treats the world,” I replied.

I dropped my gaze and laughed. “You know the problem,” I said slowly, so he could keep up. “It takes over two inches to satisfy me.”

other than creation, celibate priests were probably the biggest myth in Eden.

Why was everything about him so electric?

“That girl’s gonna be the death of you,” said Felix. I didn’t need to be told something I already knew.

Beware she who bleeds, bound in chains. Beware the exile, the young winged beast, who dances unafraid before fire. Beware the woman with many names, the maiden, the whore, the scarlet serpent. Beware the temptress who whispers in the dark. She is the beginning and the end. She is peace and chaos. She is terror knocking at the gates.

all this could have been avoided if Zahariev had just let me dance in the first place.” “Maybe he doesn’t like the idea of other men looking at you,” said Coco.

He was dead the moment his eyes bled.”

“It’s a warning,”

“A warning from who, Tori?”

“The gods,” he said, his voice firm and unwavering. “Can’t you hear them? They are knocking at the gates.”

“Yes, daddy,,” I said, my voice thick with sarcasm. Zahariev’s jaw ticked, but the corner of his mouth lifted, eyes gleaming darkly. “Good girl,” he praised, his voice low and rough. He sat back, crossing one leg over the other. “Now dance for me.”

The air felt electric. It always did when I danced, but more so when it was slow and sensual. I liked to imagine I was releasing everything I didn’t want—the guilt my mother and father planted inside me, the fear of not being able to survive in this world, the desperation that had sent me to Smugglers’ Row week after week.

When I looked at Zahariev again, I didn’t feel so lost.

“We are living in a simulation!” he yelled. “The true gods are trapped beneath the mountain. They are knocking at the gates! Can’t you hear them? Can’t you hear them? Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

Beware, goddess of night, Mother of the moon. There is poison on your tongue, Venom in your blood. Lie upon my altar, Bleed upon my steps. Release me from these bindings, Break down these carmine gates.

you do not like to be contained.” He paused and then added, “Most wild things don’t.”

“You have a pretty mouth, little love, but you say the ugliest things.”

“I heard you touched my girl,” I said. She wasn’t mine. She wasn’t anyone’s. But I was the dealer of her justice. Her vengeance was mine.

You act like this has to mean something. Fucking brat. She meant everything.

“Promise me something,” he said, still watching me. “What?” “If you ever feel like you don’t want to do this anymore…tell me. Give me the chance to bring you back.”

For the first time in my life, I found myself wishing I was like my mother and had armor around my heart. Maybe this was how it happened, one painful blow after the other, until one day, you woke up and felt nothing at all.

“Who are these other gods?” I asked. “They’re just stories that didn’t make it into the Book of Splendor,” he said. “Now and then, they surface, and the church stomps them out. At some point, you gotta wonder why they’re so afraid of something if it’s not true.”

They claim they were ‘divinely guided,’ which is a funny way to say politically motivated.”

People believe there is more than one god and that they are trapped behind the Seventh Gate. They claim there are signs the gate is weakening, that their magic is slipping through the cracks, making the weather harsher, the people sicker and more violent,

“Men are useless in the face of a beautiful woman,” he said. “Something just short-circuits in their brains.” I raised a brow. “You sure it’s the brain?”

“I know your secret,” I said, my fingers tightening, digging into his skin. “If you harm one hair on her head, I’ll end you.”

“And just so we’re clear, that’s not a threat. It’s a promise.”

I didn’t want to get into the habit of comparing men to the one I literally couldn’t have.

“Someday I will have to watch you marry another man, and it will be far easier to do if I never fuck you.”

That was a lie. It was never going to be easy.

I wouldn’t say I wanted a baby, but I definitely wanted to fuck, and if Zahariev were mine, I’d jump his bones the second we were alone.

What would people think if they really knew the pious matriarch of the prestigious Leviathan family gave life to a demon?”

“I would go to war for you,” he said again. “I would fight endlessly to keep you if that’s what you wanted.”

Hold me tighter, Zahariev, she’d said. If I did, could I keep her from breaking?

“You don’t think I carry you wherever I go? You are unshakable. A menace. Sometimes, I think I would do anything to fuck it out of you, this goddamn defiance, even though it won’t work. Even though it’s what I adore most about you. I guess I just think it would be fun to try.”

“I’m going to fuck your mouth so hard, you’ll forever think twice before you tell me I didn’t give you enough.”