Devil May Breathe (The Devils of Vitality)

by Chani Lynn Feener

He more than liked him. He cared. It took all of Pavel’s willpower not to tip off the other guy, not to blurt that truth out with pride and elation. Zane would be scared off if he did. He’d pull away and deny it. Deny his feelings. But Pavel saw through him.

Zane Solace didn’t do anything that didn’t benefit himself. If he was willing to hand over that type of power, willing to make a deal wherein Pavel took control, he had to be really worried about the bullet wound. He had to believe giving up his autonomy for a day was worth getting to patch Pavel up in return.

“The best part,” Pavel let go of his spent cock and reached forward, wiping two fingers across the rise of Zane’s right cheek, collecting his come, “is after all of that, you won’t be able to turn me away. You’ll have to marry me, even if it’s just to save face.”

“You aren’t the only one who wants to feel needed, gorgeous, and once the whole world sees you’ve let me into that delectable body of yours? You’ll need me to keep your reputation.”

passion part? He refused to put himself in a situation where he’d go unwanted. There was no way his mental health would survive that, and there was no question that Pavel wanted him.

“The day before the Solace family came and took you away,” Pavel confirmed, “yes.” “Why did I give myself your last name?” He pointed to it. “Because it was never my last name,” he replied. “It was ours.”

“Hart, because that’s what we’d been missing. No one to love us. No one to care. Hart, because we swore we’d be each other’s. You’re the one who demanded we have the same one. You wanted us to match because we were a family.”

“We’ll be a family again,” Pavel said then, taking a step into the room. “I’ll tie you to me and make you mine on paper. No one will be able to part us then, not the Solaces, not even Lyra Diar. You’ll be mine, Zane, all mine, and I promise I’ll never let anyone take you from me again. Doesn’t that sound nice? Doesn’t it sound right? We were always meant to be, you and I.”

“Stubborn to the last. Why bother? As much as I enjoy it when you fight me for dominance, there’s no use fighting for this. There was never any choice here, Zane. You’ve belonged to me practically all of your life. Eventually, I was going to come collect, your brother just sped up my timetable, that’s all.”

“We aren’t leaving this island until you’ve come to terms with your future at my side,” Pavel continued when Zane remained silent. “I’ll be fully transparent with you, I’ll do everything I can to get you to submit. Whether that’s bending you until you break, starving you until you’re begging for affection, or ruining any chance you have of keeping that shiny reputation outside of this, I will do it all. Without hesitation or remorse. I’m tired of waiting, gorgeous. I’m tired of standing on the outside on my own. You left me. Now it’s time to pay the price.”

“You knew. That’s why you’ve been leaving them for me.” Zane should have pieced that together after discovering they’d known one another as kids, but he hadn’t. “I bought the company and opened a branch on Vitality specifically for you,” he said.

More than used to it. This past month, Zane had found himself searching for the other man every time he’d stepped from the Little Palace. Even knowing Pavel had his own life, classes, and work at the club—reasons for not being able to always be around twenty-four-seven—whenever he’d felt that absence, it’d cut like the edge of a star crystal blade.

He was the one who’d set the terms for their last game, the one who’d demanded time apart, and yet all it’d taken were a handful of weeks for him to come to the conclusion that he was becoming codependent.

Every time he’d caught sight of Pavel chatting or laughing with someone else on campus, he’d seethed. Even if it was the guy’s brother. Zane had hated it. It’d taken all of his willpower not to storm over each and every time and yank...

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to be with Pavel forever. But Good Light, did a part of him ...

He wrapped his arms tightly around Zane’s waist and rested his head against his stomach, sighing contentedly as though they weren’t in the midst of a potential argument. “You’re so warm, bashert. Smell so good.”

“We aren’t a couple.” “Careful,” Pavel warned, nuzzling him despite the dark warning tone, “I’ve put up with a lot from you already, but my patience is wearing thin. If you put all that effort into coming to terms with us instead of wasting energy on being a brat, I never would have had to bring us here.”

Zane shook his head. “You can’t keep me here, Pav. Someone will eventually come looking.” “Lyra, you mean?” He hadn’t been thinking of her specifically but, yeah. “She won’t give up so easily.” “What a coincidence.” Pavel set his chin above Zane’s navel and smiled up at him. “Neither will I.”

He rolled his eyes. “Not that. The drinks? There were those. Then there was Samuel. I murdered him for you, you know I did. I keep meaning to give you his heart, but I left it in that old castle on the cliffs. This house was modeled after it, did you notice?”

“If I do decide to do this with you, I need guarantees you won’t—” “I’ll never abandon you,” Pavel cut him off, voice soft and sincere. “You’ll never not be the most important thing in my life. I can promise you that right now. You’re everything to me, Zane. You always have been.”

“Maybe you don’t want to see it,” Pavel said. “Maybe you aren’t ready. I’m sorry, gorgeous, but you’re going to have to get past this. Time is running out. I’ll have you claimed, bred, and wed before either of us step foot off this island. That’s just a fact, not a threat, not even a promise. It’s simply the truth.”

“Funny, I’m pretty sure that’s actually what I’m doing here.” He rubbed his thumb against Zane’s bottom lip. “I can give you the life you’ve always wanted. I can give you the big house, the purpose, and the family. Someone to come home to who always wants you there. Someone to lean on and long for. I may not be a Royal, but my parents hold enough prestige that yours won’t be disappointed by our merger.

Let me in. It’ll make this easier on the both of us.” “And if I don’t?” Pavel’s expression never wavered. “Then I’ll take you, whether you concede or not.”

“You can’t seriously be doing this right now?” He tipped his head back against the lip of the porcelain to catch Pavel’s dark gaze. “What?” He continued to lavish him with his attention, dragging the cloth over his entire body soothingly. “You could catch a chill from the rain. A hot bath is just what you need.”

“I gave you free rein to do anything you wanted with me.” “Yes, and what I want,” he brushed his lips lightly against Zane’s forehead, “is to take care of you.”

“I’m not afraid.” He fucking was and that pissed him off to no end. Getting hunted in the forest made more sense than this. Than the soft touches and the caresses. The way he was being treated like something precious and breakable.

“I’m not finished,” he chided. “Because I enjoy this too. I really was hoping to make you breakfast this morning. I made sure the fridge was stocked with all of your favorites.” It wasn’t just the fridge.

Zane’s eyes couldn’t help but go to the shelf to the side of the tub where all of the bathing products were kept. The brand of shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hell, even the type of aftershave he preferred were all there, lined up in neat rows.

“It means,” Pavel dragged the cloth up to Zane’s throat and used it to tip his head back again so their eyes could meet again, “I’ll take care of you, baby. If there’s something you don’t like doing, you don’t have to.”

“I’m not going to punish you tonight. There’s no point in you trying to rile me up. I’m tired and my wound hurts. You were right, I was foolish for not considering my health earlier. Give me this moment, okay? I’ve dreamed of you here so many times, just like this, soft and languid for me. Mine to touch and bath and tuck into bed.”

“You needed to be broken before you were ready.” He set the cloth aside. “A part of you still isn’t. This is what a family is. We don’t just fuck and banter. We coddle and care for. We sit in those quiet moments and exist as one and enjoy each other's company.”

“I won't stitch you up a third time if you do.” “Yes, you would.” Yes, he would. Zane glanced away.

But Pavel…He’d cleaned Zane off almost reverently just now. As though he truly did enjoy the act as much as he claimed.

“I lack the drive,” he surprised him by saying. “To enter a field like that, you have to want it. Desperately. But there’s only ever been one thing I’ve wanted that badly, and I already have him, so…”

“What else did you take that day you stole my coat? My toothbrush was changed out and I was missing a bottle of body wash. That was you, right?” “Guilty.” “Why?” “Being around your things makes me feel close to you.”

Zane risked looking up at him and instantly wished he hadn’t. There was an openness in Pavel’s dark gaze that he wasn’t used to seeing. A vulnerability that felt far too private to be shared with him.

“You keep needing to hear it. I won’t hurt you, bashert. This will take some getting used to, yes, but we’ll get there. Eventually, this won’t be so foreign for you.” The corner of his mouth turned up subtly. “Perhaps even one day you’ll bathe me in return.” “Don’t hold your breath.”

“Another game?” “Apologies,” Pavel came back over, “that was poor wording on my part. I’m not toying with you. That’s not what this is.” He hated it but…He needed to ask. “Promise?”

“Because you’re important to me and I want to show it. Acts of affection are surprisingly second nature to me. I wasn’t joking. I’ve fantasized about doing tiny acts like this just as much as I have about fucking you on my cock. I want to make you breakfast in the morning and kiss you goodbye at the car before we head off to our separate classes. I want to meet for lunch and gossip about all the idiots we’ve had to endure so far that day. I want to take you to nice candle-lit dinners, go on long drives on the coast, and come home to matching pajamas.”

Trap you so thoroughly you’d have no other choice but to accept me and everything I have to offer. We’ll play like that sometimes, but it's only part of it. Only part of the way I want you.”

“Come downstairs with me. I’ll cook you dinner, and then after we can snuggle on the couch and watch a movie. You like movies.” Due to his packed schedule, Zane only allowed himself to watch one once every month, but he did really like them.

Pavel brushed his thumb over the curve of Zane’s cheek, as if he simply wanted to touch him and didn’t care where.

“You get this excited little look on your face when you’re preparing to put one on. You gather all your favorite snacks and bring a blanket, get all cozy before pressing play. It’s a cute, endearing ritual. I’ve found myself mimicking it at home. We can do movie nights together from now on though. I made sure to get a big enough blanket for us to both fit under.”

He grabbed Pavel’s shirt over his stomach, twisting the material in his hold, needing to feel connected to him. He didn’t like that forlorn look on the other man’s face. Didn’t like the fact that he’d accidentally been the one to put it there.

This past month, he’d gotten less sleep than he had in his entire life because of that. Because of the need to feel Pavel there, at his back. Close to him. The need to know he hadn’t grown tired of the game and abandoned him already.

“Thinking about you watching me without my permission is different.” It was hot, way hotter than it should have been, mostly because it called to that needy, insecure part of Zane that believed no one cared what he did or said.

“That’s hypocritical,” Pavel pointed out. “It isn’t.” “In what way?” “Because it’s you.” Zane blew out a breath. Damn it. He’d just admitted something major, hadn’t he?

“You like me, Doctor.” “No shit.” “You like having me around.” “Obviously.” “I want you to like taking baths with me, eating meals with me, and hanging out with me as well,” Pavel told him.

“I want you to find in me that thing you’ve always desired.” “Yeah,” Zane said stubbornly, “and what’s that?” Pavel ran his hand through his hair, brushing the silky strands off Zane’s forehead, and replied matter-of-factly, “Home.”

Space was paramount right now. The closer to Pavel he was, the more he feared the other man somehow could hear the wild beating of his heart.