Audre & Bash Are Just Friends
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Read between May 6 - May 9, 2025
6%
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“What do I always say?” “It’s not love, it’s adrenaline.”
6%
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Not to be gender normative, but have you met a boy? There’s no reason to be intimidated by one.” She lowered her voice to a stage whisper. “They barely have a coherent thought in their heads.”
Demetrius
Lmfao.
6%
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“Sparrow, there’s someone out there dying to love you. Don’t ‘fix’ yourself before they get a chance to fall for the real you.”
6%
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“My ex was into the real me. Dumping him was a mistake.” “Your ex was a cheater, Sparrow. He gave you and half our class mono.”
Demetrius
Lol!
6%
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Going back to him would be toxic settling.” “Toxic settling?” asked Sparrow, accidentally dropping a press-on nail into her vodka. “It’s when you return to a situation that’s bad for you. If it was bad once, it’ll always be bad. Think of it this way—if you see the same tree twice in the forest, it means you’re lost.”
7%
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“Goals? My father’s fucking his plastic surgeon and wears violently skinny jeans. Mum’s in a baby food weight loss cult and hasn’t eaten anything solid since 2016.”
Demetrius
Lmfao!
7%
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Sparrow was scowling. “Why am I talking to you two about boys, anyway? Reshma, you’re extremely gay.” “I’m a child of God,” she said. “And Audre? I’m saying this as a friend, not a client.… You’re anti-romance.”
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“Can I be honest with you?” “No,” said Audre quickly.
Demetrius
Lmfao.
8%
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How do you let go and just… live… when you knew how every story ended?
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Rule 1: Always know when to leave a party.
10%
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Shane turned a page in the yearbook. “I’m sorry, but these aren’t real teenagers. They look like adults who play teenagers on TV,” he pointed out.
13%
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can’t put the pieces back together in my real life, so it feels good to repair a trashed apartment.
15%
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Make him work for your forgiveness, sis. You’re teaching him how to treat you.
Brittany and 1 other person liked this
Octavia
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Octavia
Please, tell me it's as good as 'A Love Song for Ricki Wilde.'
Demetrius
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Demetrius
It was better to me.
Octavia
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Octavia
Great to hear and Thank you..
15%
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Rule 2: If you see tall, curly-haired boys in the wild, avoid looking directly into their eyes. Their retinas have special powers that turn smart girls stupid. This is science.
17%
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What was this flower child hippie shit? Was he being an f-boy menace, or did he simply enjoy nature? Audre exhaled slowly—but shakily—and
17%
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Don’t feel silly for being affected by his antics, she told herself. He’s objectively hot, and you’re raw and vulnerable right now. It’s hormones. It’s science.
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“Mmm. Does she have any traumas due to America’s broken health care system?”
Demetrius
Lmfao.
17%
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Bash Henry’s wide-eyed-earth-angel act was wearing thin. She knew his type. He was addicted to making everyone fall in love with him—but was impossible to pin down.
18%
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“You have narc energy.” Audre flinched. “Narc energy?” “Yeah, like you’re pretending to go to Cheshire but you’re an undercover cop.”
Demetrius
Lmfao!
18%
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“Boys who call girls nosy generally have something to hide.”
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Sometimes, when people’s aesthetics or interests change, they hate their old ink. Not me.” He shrugged. “Everything changes. Nothing’ll be the same a year from now. But my tats will. They’re like reminders of things I loved once. Even just for a day.”
18%
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Rule 3: Stay alert around suspiciously hot joggers in the park. For safety reasons, first and foremost-but also because they sometimes drop pearls of wisdom.
19%
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“Look, it might be fun to stay here for the summer. The city will be empty. Brooklyn will be your playground. You think I want to go to Argentina and ‘assist’ my parents in making yet another album full of dentist office bangers?”
Demetrius
Lmfao!
19%
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“My point is, your book will be even more meaningful if you lived a little. If your advice came from IRL experience. Would you go to a dermatologist who’d never had a pimple?”
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You have writer’s block because you’re lacking authentic inspiration. Especially when it comes to boys.”
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quiet moments, though, she had to ask herself—was she so hungry for male attention that she’d force a crush on a guy who texted her weight lifting selfies every morning?
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Rule 4: Be smart about lies or you might tell one that exacerbates your allergies.
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“I’m aware it’s not a date. I’m your fun consultant. Your funsultant.”
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On this mortal plane, all we have is our word, Bash.”
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“I’m thinking… maybe we should do some icebreakers? When I led the orientation for new juniors at the beginning of last year, I did icebreakers.” “What, like trust falls? I’m six four. You can’t catch me.” She raised her brows. “First of all, I have enormous upper body strength.” “Do you?” He stepped back, taking a good look at her frame. “Is that based on blind confidence or an actual unit of measure?”
Demetrius
Lmao!
32%
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“Sometimes parents see talent in you before you see it, I guess.”
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“You know, I could tell you were from the Bay Area the first time I heard you talk. ‘Hella’ this, ‘fosho’ that. It made me miss Cali. I spend the summers with my dad and stepmom in Malibu.”
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“You can’t fault people for being curious about you,” said Audre. “New kid. Blank slate. Interesting dating life. And a part of you encourages rumors because you never clear anything up. Never complain, never explain, right?”
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Some philosopher said that unless you deal with your unconscious mind, it’ll direct your life and you’ll call it destiny.”
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“Hey. Can I hear your speech?” “You’re changing the subject.” “Maybe. But also, I really want to hear your speech. You need someone to be proud of you. I’ll be proud.”
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This is a circle of trust.”
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Rule 5: Wearing a light-colored summer dress? Any chance you’ll jump in the ocean? Wear nude-colored underwear. That way, if you get wet, no one will see your orange panties.
40%
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“A thing?” Eva’s eyebrow arched. “Snap at me again and you can move into that McDonald’s.”
Demetrius
Lmao!
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“A guy you hired? Audre, help me understand. I know you want to lose your virginity, but this ain’t the way.”
Demetrius
Lmfaooo!
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“When you were growing up, I think I treated you more like a best friend than a daughter. I depended on you more than I should’ve. I regret this every day.”
43%
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10:30 figured your parents wouldn’t like some strange guy showing up hella late @ ur house. so, I left your phone w my good buddy Barry. funny guy. we talked for like 30 min before I realized it was only me talking. is he a warlock
Demetrius
Lmfaooooo!!!!
44%
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Bash: lol not only is it a real thing, if u ever find a smurf lunch box at the beach, you owe me. I missed my chance for clout b/c you decided I was drowning
Demetrius
Lmao!
45%
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Rule 6: This isn’t a rule, it’s a question. If the person you like is super nice to everyone, how do you know if they like you specifically? I guess the rule, here, is that crushing on a sweet guy isn’t any less confusing than crushing on a player.
47%
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“I’d like to speak to the manager.” “I’m the manager,” said the guy tiredly. “I don’t love the way you’re treating us. You haven’t seen the last of me.” “I’ve barely seen the first of you,” grumbled the guy, turning on his heel.
Demetrius
Lmfaoo!
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“But why do you think the only way Bash could like me back is if you removed an obstacle for me? Why do you think I need your help to get a guy?”
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“You basically said I suck at pulling guys. You think I’m a loser.”
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Therapy is manipulative. Is it trauma, or just a generic bad memory? Is it gaslighting, or someone’s perspective clashing with yours?
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Bash and Audre faced each other, their eyes sparking with challenge. They were on opposite ends of the same experience. Excellence was their brand. But where it motivated Audre, it broke Bash down.
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“But you’re impressive without winning. You’re impressive just standing there, trying to figure out why you’re in Target buying a sex toy with a guy you didn’t know two weeks ago.”
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“Back to college, though,” he said, feeling a little dizzy in her presence. “All I know is that every part of my life was logged on a spreadsheet. And now I have choices. I love it.”
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