Can't Get Enough (Skyland, #3)

by Kennedy Ryan

“A woman is free if she lives by her own standards and creates her own destiny.” —Mary McLeod Bethune, educator, philanthropist, activist

One of the hardest parts of aging is being the one “still standing” when everyone else has found their peace lying down.

And I don’t know him or even know him enough to trust him, but I do see him. And I feel like he sees me. That’s more than you can ask from most people you’ve known for years. We so rarely truly see people in their hurt. It’s even rarer not to flinch—not to look away from another’s pain.

In my twenties, I was just running. Always in the streets and for what? In my thirties, I started asking big questions and looking for answers. Now I know exactly who I am and what I want. And I can finally afford myself.”

“Sometimes people want different things more than they want each other. In the long run, it’s best they go their separate ways.”

“We are not magic,” she says. “We are resilient. It’s not a wand. It’s work. We work harder and shine brighter to survive. Excellence for us has been a matter of necessity. In a climate where less than half a percent of venture capital funding goes to Black women, women founders still perform sixty-three percent better than all-male founding teams in the first round. With those odds, we can’t leave our success to chance and we for sure can’t depend on magic.”

“Just to make grocery,”

know they will show a bit more of my hand. “I don’t care if Skipper comes or not, as long as you do.” I’m not sure what has emboldened me. Was it hearing her tears again over her mother? Is that what bonded us even further and cemented my determination to see where this could go, damn the consequences?

don’t ask anyone to defend their decision to have children. So why should I have to defend my decision not to?”

There are women like me who are mothering in our own ways, but have never carried a child or been a parent. We’re teachers and mentors and social workers and godmothers. We find ways to pour love into the world, to shape the world for good without bearing a child. It’s not about our wombs. It’s about our hearts and how we share them. That is bodily agency—me getting to decide what I do with my body in this life.”

She’s a woman with a very clear vision of what her future will look like.

“You said being whole means acknowledging all our parts. And that there were parts of me that wanted to be held, want to be needed and loved.” She pauses and searches my face. “I know there’s a part of you that wants to be a successful producer, to fulfill those ambitions, but is it at the cost of the other parts? The parts that might want something else? That might want someone? Will you have

“The right one won’t ask you to give up your dreams, but will care just as much as you do about them.”

There are parts of you that want to be held, want to be needed and loved. That is just as emotionally valid as the parts of you that crave independence.

“My life won’t be measured just in what I did, but who I did it with. Who I chose to be in friendship with. In relationship with. I think that’s where real contentment is found, and I think I could find it with you.”

“That’s everything because that means I’m good to you and you’re good to me. Being good to you means wanting what’s best for you. If there is an upper hand, baby, I don’t want it. I know I’m asking you to take a big risk, but all I can do is promise that I’ll never try to hurt you and I’ll do everything to protect you. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you don’t regret choosing me and I’ll protect your dreams as fiercely as I chase my own.”

The sense of everyone paired off and belonging somewhere and to someone. Am I fine on my own? I really am. I mostly always have been.

But would I like to share this amazing life I’ve created for myself with someone else? Someone truly worthy of my trust? Damn right I would.

I’ve always known there is power in making your own way, but maybe when you find the right person, there is joy i...

and I expect something different from and for myself. I know the kind of woman I want to be and the kind of life I want and I’m not willing to forfeit it to have a man. His happiness for my misery is not an even trade.” “I agree.”

“Now I’m on the cusp of everything I’ve been working toward in my career, and I realize that acknowledging those parts of me that want care and companionship doesn’t make me less whole. It doesn’t mean I’m not happy, but that this is something else that can make me happy.”

“I’m just so happy for you,” Soledad sniffs. “You’ve waited for someone who could truly be your match, and I feel like he could be, Hen.”

I want you to believe that. Every love isn’t forever. We can love people along the way. Relationships can begin and then end.”

reticence,

You make the plan. God’ll make the way. We’ll see about that.

“I love Him,” she says simply. “And I believe that He loves me and is working all things out for my good. That’s not always what’s easiest. Can you truly love someone you don’t trust? I don’t think so.”

I’ve taken care of myself and others for so long, I almost forgot how it feels for someone else to want to take care of me.

read it?” I glance from her to the wall, allowing my eyes to skim the familiar stanzas. “Sure. I mean, not in a long time, but I know it. The person says they see two sets

I’ve poured my love and care into a circle of people who surround me now and will encircle me then.

Yes, there is power in making your own way and joy in sharing it. Sharing it with your family. Sharing it with your friends.

Fate or God or the universe—whatever formed us to fit—knew what, who, I needed.

“I want my love to be the most extravagant gift I ever give you,” he whispers, his voice deep and reverent. “I want it to be outrageously unconditional. I want it to overflow and spill into every crevice of your life, every corner of your heart because that’s what you do for me. You overwhelm me, Hendrix.”

stare

The one who’s always got something to say—speechless with the possibility of this lifelong joy.

That I’d ever find a man I could trust with my heart, with my goals and dreams; whom I could respect with the assurance that he respects me in return.