Hallowpeen

by Holly Wilde

If I were in charge of story time, everyone would be sharing adventures with masked men who give out hand necklaces and call you Princess.

His engorged gourdhood’s orange surface is slicked with froth, like a whipped topping on a pumpkin spice latte. Inch by inch, I stare in awe at his immeasurable length that dangles in front of me. The fluted base curves away from his body, jutting out like a butternut squash. Under a layer of pumpkin foreskin I can see the tip of the stem wanting to poke out.

STOP THIS IS TOO MUCH 😂😂😂

his uncircumcised seedhole.

Up next on “things I wish I could unread”

With a soft, almost sinister chuckle, he releases his grasp from the other pumpkin and runs a finger down the side of my face, his touch lingering on my skin

It’s giving creepy ass alpha male who still lives in his parents basement and using anime for romance ideas🤮😭

all I can think about is how close their pumpkins are to my pie.

🤮🤮😭😭

That grin of his is wicked as he humps playfully against my ass.

Imagine meeting a man who just randomly hugs you and starts dry humping like a dog in heat. STRAIGHT TO JAIL 😭

"I have a few things in mind we can do to get to know each other," Hal replies, his tone spicier than any latte I’ve ever had.

Alexa, Remind me to never drink a latte again.

Parting the elastic band that has a one hundred percent success rate on keeping things out, his rough finger tenderly dips inside of me as he tickles my velvety walls.

Everything about this sentence is revolting.

“Let’s take her inside and show our new guest how we peen in Peentown.”

😭😭🤮🤮

The fire ignites with a quick whoosh, flooding the interior of the home, and my panties, with a sudden rush of heat.

Is she… turned on by the fire????

they carefully curate our lovenest, turning the living room into a seductive sanctuary.

“Lovenest” is a word I hope to never read again.

The hint of a stem pokes from his foreskin the more engorged he becomes.

Ain’t no fucking way 😭😭😭

the two of them eat me like a candied apple, munching and gnawing

Two words I absolutely do not want to use when explaining how someone is ✨going down✨

Pinching my nipple between his fingers like he’s sealing pie crust edges,

Literally STAHP 😂😭

Gordy put a raspberry on my nipple until the bitter cold sinks into my skin. The sight of it resting on my curves like a winter hat for my breasts is simultaneously hilarious and erotic.

I’m never eating raspberries again.

I suction around his butternut balls.

Every time I think it’s reached the height of “absolutely the worst thing I’ve ever read” the author really comes back and says “hold my beer” 😭😭

pumpkin pleasure pole,

Wtf 😭🤮

I notice that his cum is made of pumpkin seeds the size of mini chocolate chips. They are easy to swallow down by the mouthful, thanks to the pool of spiced milk, like a pumpkin latte, that they swim in.

I’m sorry WHAT THE FUCK 😭😭

“You ready to take this load? I’m gonna pump my seed up in your guts so fucking hard you’ll swear you were born a pumpkin, too.”

🤮

“Mmm, looks like you like the way I touch your jelly bean.”

Literally gross.

The gush of anticipation starts to wet the lollipop,

I love how UTIs just don’t exist in erotica

he’s made me hornier than a deviled egg.

Are deviled eggs horny?? Is this canon??

He’s rock hard for me, literally because his cock is made of crystalized sugar. He strokes his hot pink sugar stick

Aye yo, wtf.

He reaches under his plastic skirt, and with a quick, fluid motion he rips his condom off his rigid form. A latex pop fills the air as a gigantic bag of gummy bears comes out, neatly packaged in his wrapper.

He jizzes gummy bears???

cummy gummy

Stop it 🤮🤮🤮