Leave Me Behind

by K.M. Moronova

I’m hot on Bradshaw’s heels and do an initial area sweep before seeing the glint of a gun in the foliage. Raising my pistol, I pull the trigger as if it’s as easy as breathing and fire into the brush. Bradshaw fires his M16 from my side; we’re almost back-to-back. My instincts kick in and I spin, checking the far side where Eren’s team is. They stare at us, surprised that we discharged our dummy weapons already. I fire again, twice in the opposite direction and then do a final sweep to be sure before straightening and using a silent hand gesture for clear. The whole squad looks aghast and stares at us like Bradshaw and me are measuring dicks. In all honesty, we might as well be.

and, God Almighty, is he a fucking vision. His muscles are defined and his veins protrude as he grips his knife. His tight black tactical pants hang low on his hips and my eyes drift there momentarily. He is lethal and every instinct inside my body thrums on high alert.

All I see are Bradshaw’s blue eyes—all the anger vanished and replaced with anguish. He pulls me close to his chest and wraps his arms around me. His hand cups the nape of my neck. Was it out of panic or does he not hate me as much as he tries to convince me?

“Easy killer, it’s just your favorite fuck boy.” Bradshaw’s voice is heavy with a smirk.

“Never. I could never. Not you.” Because you make me feel things I’ve never experienced before. I could never hurt you. I could never let you go.

“I don’t think I can continue being Bones. Because Bones is heartless and ruthless. But ever since meeting you, I’ve been anything but those things. When I look at you, I feel like my thoughts are no longer blurry. This dark underworld I reign in doesn’t have to be the one I die in.”

“Together, our broken pieces can do anything.”

“All I want is to be by your side. In training, in war, in death. I can’t picture myself anymore without you being there, Bun. You linger in my thoughts, in my fears. But mostly, you’re the cause of all the emotions I feel again.

“And if you think I’m ever letting you go, you’re wrong. You’re mine. As much as I’m yours.”

“You are where my sanity starts,”

“You are where mine ends,”

“I never left, Bun. My heart and every thought have been here with you all this time. If that makes me a fool, then I don’t give a fuck. There’s no me without you.”

I’ve been with you. Each starlit walk you took with him, every small look over your shoulder waiting for someone. For me. I was there. I never left you behind.”

“I love you, Bradshaw.” My eyes widen and a throb rolls through my chest. I’d wait a lifetime to hear those words. Her smile is everything I’ve dreamt about. “I love you too. I want you to say it to me a thousand more times.” I press a kiss to her forehead. “After we get home.” “Lead the way, sir,” she coos, pulling up her mask and winking at me. God, I fucking missed her.

I’d left her small things that I hoped she’d see and know I was watching her. That I was with her always. A bunny in the field. The drawings through the condensation of her hotel windows. The bunny stickers on restaurant menus where she frequented.