Leave Me Behind

by K.M. Moronova

“I’ve also never met such a deadly sniper. You’ve got quite the aim and trigger finger, don’t you?”

“They say I’m the least hesitant shot there is.” “Yes, so I’ve heard.”

“Fuck… you really are like Bones. He’s a monster too.”

“Fine. I’ll give up the spot. But on the condition that you can find a soldier better than me. I want to be on the mock hostile squad. If you guys can overthrow our base and take the captives, then I’ll throw in the towel,”

“For the record, I voted for you to stay,”

“Thank you, Eren.” His lazy grin sends flutters through my stomach. “I really needed to hear those words.”

“Don’t let them win. Show them like I know you will. I know I need you on this next mission.”

“Yeah. He’s never been this interested with his second.”

“Yes… but you being here has made it much, much worse.”

“I just want to be on this mission. I’ll be sent to the Hades Squad if I don’t stay on this one. And they hate Riøt more than you guys do. The general would rather release me back into society than send me to them. And I can’t go back into society.”

“This next mission is more than earning our cards, Nell. It’s revenge. For Bones, especially. I can’t get into the details, but we both know it ties in with Patagonia.”

“He has a debt to pay,” I say sadly. Eren’s eyes flash at me. “You have one too.”

“Don’t let him hurt you like this again,”

Too late

“What if he does hurt me again?”

“He won’t disobey my orders again.”

“Easy killer, it’s just your favorite fuck boy.” Bradshaw’s voice is heavy with a smirk.

“You keep yelling and making people look at us and I’ll really give you something to scream about, Bun.” He pulls away and winks at me with a fake-ass smile. His white teeth flash and make my core heat. “Now, behave.”

I’m always the most dangerous

person in the room, but around Bradshaw I feel vulnerable.

“Just get out of there, I can’t sit here and watch you be eaten alive.”

“And they say monsters don’t have weaknesses,”

“Does your cunt not ache enough from our lesson the other night? Have you forgotten who you submit to, Bunny?”

“Why do you hate me so much?”

“Is that what you think? That I hate you?”

“Are you upset because I didn’t show you affection both mornings after I fucked you? You’re delusional if you think you’re anything other than a good looking, average soldier. I just used you for what I wanted in the moment. That’s all.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“I want to dominate you. I want to break you into a million pieces

and make you answer only to me. I want to keep you as far away from my squad as possible before I ruin what’s left of you. Because if you don’t leave, that’s what’s going to happen. I’ll break you, just like I break everything. Is that enough? Will you shut the fuck up now?”

I spit in his face.

“See? I told you your fear was stupid. You haven’t thought about it once since I tipped us over.”

“I hate you.” “Am I supposed to care?”

“I’m incapable of feeling things as petty as hatred, but if I could, I’d loathe you most. I thought we already hashed this out in the water, baby.”

“Let me show you the kinky shit I’m into.”

“You think you’re the first man to force me to suck his dick?” “I think you’re the first woman to spit in my face and bite my lips in the same day,”

The fact that I find it erotic disturbs me to my core. A beautiful, broken man who’s working his dick while telling me to suck it. That’s also why we’re so drawn to each other, because we’re both toxic and cruel.

“Oh, Bunny, you sick little thing. Tell me you aren’t into this too. The pain kink was already catching my heartstrings, but this? This makes me want to brand you as mine.”

I want it. I want him.

“You two are making my life really fucking hard right now, you know that?”

“First you’re fighting, then hurting each other.” I open my mouth to argue that only Bradshaw has hurt me, but Eren’s pointed look shuts me up. “And now you two are… what the fuck even is this? Are you fucking now?”

“This. This is exactly what I’m talking about. What the fuck is wrong with you, Bradshaw? I’ve never seen you act this… this…”

“Go ahead. Say it.” Bradshaw stares at him emptily.

“Psychotic! You’re acting like a fucking animal. The shit you’re pulling… Do you have any idea how much I’ve covered for you? How much I’ve sacrificed to keep you here? You know the general won’t put up with anymore of your shit.”

“I am a goddamn animal, Eren. Haven’t you known? Don’t pretend like I’m just some broken little thing that you can fix. You’re just prolonging a shitty ending and you know it,”

Is this why I’m drawn to him? Because he’s… like me. A prolonged, shitty ending.

“Aw, Nell. Did you catch feelings for my brother?”

“No.” It doesn’t sound at all convincing.

“I think you do like him,”

“Well, for one, you’re watching me whack myself off and not taking advantage of it, so there’s a start.”

“And you two look at each other in this way I haven’t seen before. It’s different.”