Stalker Problems (The Society #1)

by Ivy Smoak

“Your mom made that zucchini bread you love. And I made one too.” She pointed to a raw zucchini on a plate with a dinner roll on each side, resembling a penis.

My head hurt too much to sift through Amazon and determine what was actually legit and what would arrive at my doorstep three months from now looking like a twelve-year-old Thai girl had sewn arms onto a trash bag and called it a "Women's Fashion Blazer."

Haven’t you ever seen those Hallmark movies where a girl makes a wish and it comes true? Or the one where the two dudes pee into the fountain and switch bodies? Maybe joining the Society is your pee fountain!"

Otherwise, I wouldn't have spent $1314 on monopoly

a receipt for the wig, but it looked expensive.

"It sounds like this Frankie fellow is going to take me to some grimy apartment and try to get in my pants." "Ohhh, hot. He'll probably offer you a few months' rent if you blow him. #WorthIt."

“May I help you?” asked the waiter with more than a hint of sass in his voice. God, he was just like that rude barista at the smoothie shop I hated. To clarify, I’m saying that I hated both the barista and the smoothie shop.

But I was pleased that Ryder was the one making the mess instead of me. Usually I was the one knocking things over. And even though Ryder was doing it on purpose…it was still his fault not mine. I needed to take this man with me everywhere.