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“I will be the next queen of Ithicana. And I will bring the Bridge Kingdom to its knees.”
By tonight, she’d be married. She’d be alone in a foreign kingdom with a reputation for the worst sort of cruelty. The wife of a young man who was lord over it all. This was the life she’d been protecting her sisters from, at the sacrifice of her own, and all of it for the sake of her people. But now the consequences of that choice were terrifyingly imminent.
She knew that what her father and Serin had told her about the king of Ithicana had been a lie—though she understood why. It was easier to stab a demon in the back. A much harder thing to betray a man whose actions and choices were driven by a desire to do right by his people. But she also knew that her homeland and Ithicana were at odds, and what would save one would damn the other.
It was because she did want him that she needed to avoid this situation, because betraying him was already going to be hard enough.
And she’d bet that retreat was into the bridge. But gaining that information wasn’t worth the cost of Aren’s life. Her heartbeat was no longer steady but a wild and chaotic beast. “Don’t let it go badly,” she whispered. “I need you to win this.”
It was very likely the least desirable situation to share a bed with his wife for the first time. But even as her hair tickled his nose, his arm fell asleep under her head, and a crick formed in his neck, it occurred to Aren, as he drifted off, that there was nowhere else he’d rather be.
“I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.” Neither had he, but Aren forced his eyes from her face to the calm water below.
And he so badly wanted to trust her.
The sun was rising, the light shifting from blue to gold, and it was like waking from a dream and being plunged back into reality. If Aren could have stopped it, he would’ve.
“You’re beautiful.” He tangled his fingers in her hair. “I’ve thought so since the moment I saw you, but I don’t think I’ve ever said it.”
“Does this change things for you?” he asked Lara, helping her to her feet. She closed her eyes, her face clenching for a moment as though she were in pain, then she opened them and nodded. “It changes everything.” Hope, and something else, something uniquely reserved for her, flooded his heart and, taking Lara by the hand, Aren led her back to the boats at a run.
Everything had changed. And nothing. It wasn’t lust. Lara wasn’t so weak as to abandon a lifetime of planning and preparation for the sake of a man too handsome and charming for his own good.
it was her admiration for Aren that was becoming increasingly problematic, as was her grief over what would happen to Ithicana once she was through with it.
“I’m sorry.” His voice was shaky. “I’m sorry that all you’ve seen since you’ve been here is violence.” All she had ever known was violence. It was nothing to her. And everything. “I wish it were different. I wish it weren’t like this.”
It took all the willpower she had to keep from slipping her arms around his neck, to keep from kissing those blasted perfect lips of his, never mind the blood and gore.
Lara would have given anything to have her sisters here to share the burden, because they would understand. They were the only people who would understand. But she was alone, and every minute that passed felt like she was closer to the breaking point of what she could endure.
“It’s yours,” he murmured into her ear. “Ithicana. Everything that I have is yours. To protect. To make better.” “I will,” she whispered. “I promise.”
“I thought I’d destroyed all the copies. This is…this is a mistake. I love you.” She’d never said it before. Never told him she loved him. Why had she never said it before? “You love me.” His voice was hollow. “Or were you only pretending to?”
Tears glinted in his eyes. “I loved you. I trusted you. With myself. With my kingdom.” Loved. Past tense. Because she’d never deserved his love, and now she’d lost it for good.
“I never want to see your face. I never want to hear your name. If there were a way to scour you from my life, I’d do it. But until I find the strength to put you in a goddamned grave, this is all I have. Now run!” His fingers quivered on the bowstring. He would do it. And it would kill him.
This is madness, the logical part of her mind screamed. You can barely swim, you’re a shit sailor, and it’s the middle of storm season. But her heart, which had been a cold, smoldering thing since she’d run from Aren on Midwatch, now burned with a ferocity that would not be denied.
But she was called the little cockroach for a reason, and here she was.
