How to Hack a Hellhound (Hellhounds of Paradise Falls #2)

by Shannon Mae

Working in retail was hell, and working in the food industry side of retail was apparently a special level of hell reserved for the truly damned. Yet somehow, here I was.

Bob? I could’ve sworn you said Boob. Scott? Are you sure you didn’t say Snot?

Pumpkin spice wasn’t lovely. It was fucking nasty. I said what I said, and I stood behind it.

So supernatural beings were just another item to add to my already fucked up bingo card.

If he was, he was probably a serial killer,

Not the callback to book 1 😂

Then there was Cassius and Kushiel, who had pretty much adopted me. They were also fucking weird as hell,

Cassius often stood around talking to thin air,

Kushiel was his own level of weird, always going out for nature walks to talk to the trees.

And honestly, the job wasn’t that shitty. Cass was an easy boss, even if he did talk to the air.

😂

because… seriously? He was cute and all, but he was dating the guy who burned things down and clearly wasn’t human. I was not going to his place to… Fuck? Have a date? I didn’t even fucking know. I was flattered, but I liked my skin attached to my body, thank you very much.

Yeah, Aiden wasn’t ready for anything. And a group? Was Toby talking, like, an orgy or something?

I knew Toby lived a little outside the box, but I hadn’t expected to get invited to some kind of orgy thing.

Monsters were out there, but so far all the monsters I’d met in real life had been one hundred percent human.

Dear god, it was worse than an orgy. Way worse. I would not have agreed if I had known what it really was. It was… Fuck. It was like some kind of early 2000 sitcom where all the girls sat around drinking Manhattans and gossiping about the men in their lives, only we were sitting in Toby’s living room, drinking wine, and gossiping. I was in the gay version of Sex in the City, for fuck’s sake.

God, did that make me the Samantha of the group?

🤣

Josh also thought that Dex was human, so I didn’t think he counted as an expert.

Harbinger of Death or something, maybe.”

I dunno, Dex said Seb didn’t seem fully human sooooooooooo

“Hey,” I said as I got out. “You’re a good person. A nice guy. You deserve to be loved for who you are.” It was sappy as fuck, and I’m not sure what possessed me to say it, but Josh’s face sort of crumpled in on itself a little bit before he managed to smooth it back out. “Thanks,” he said raspily.

Poor Josh. But also, I feel like he’s for Wilder

I smiled, thinking of Dexter, who was apparently a hellhound. He had the right idea when he set Marcus’s mansion on fire. I was going to burn the whole ring of human traffickers to the ground, even if it was the last thing I did.

Still, I didn’t like the deviation from Quinton’s routine.

Oh nice, slight stalking 😏

My hellhound wanted him. And if Dex got to keep a human, why couldn’t I?

Quinton was a flame in the darkness, and I wanted to set him free and watch him burn. I would make sure no one ever again tried to put out his fire.

“Ok. That’s good. He doesn’t know you, so he won’t know we’re stalking him,” Dex said. “We’re not stalking him,” I replied, swerving around a car and looking for the Uber Quinton was riding in. “You’re already in the car,” Dex said flatly.

🤣🤣

I paused, asking, “Can you put trackers in humans?” I hadn’t thought of that, but if that were a possibility… “Nah, I don’t think so. I thought of it with Toby, but I think they’d notice if they woke up with a scar,” Dex said, and I heard the crunch of potato chips as he took a bite.

🤣🤣

“Cassius wants to know what’s going on with Q and Aiden. He’s pissed. He did adopt them, and then you stole and rehomed them.” I sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose. “Dex, they aren’t stray pets.” Dex looked offended. “I know that! They’re stray humans. Obviously. I still don’t think you can just steal and rehome them.” I just shook my head. Dex was… well, he was Dex. Not the most human-savvy hellhound of the group.

Dex nodded his head at that, because it did make logical sense. “I don’t usually keep my strays,” he added thoughtfully. Shit. I didn’t need Dex getting any ideas. “Listen, you aren’t keeping them.

“No one is concerned that Liam has a camera in Q’s room? His bedroom?” Toby demanded.

😂😂😂😂😂

I thought I’d read somewhere that humans often had accidents and deaths in bathrooms. Probably best to just leave the bathroom camera there.

Finding your stalker sweet was not normal.

Hmm, maybe Toby was right. Could he be a wee bit upset about the cameras?

“Creepy stalker,” I heard him mumble behind me. “Little hellcat,” I called back over my shoulder. I heard him chuckle, and then the door shut, and I heard the lock engage.

He was super mad that we’d been ‘rehomed,’

😂😂

Cass had just gotten off the phone with him and was ranting about how Dexter couldn’t just give him people to adopt and then steal them back, and how we were his and Kushiel’s now, and we didn’t have to go anywhere we didn’t want to. It was like they were fighting over who got to keep us.

😂

Oh, my little hellcat’s claws were out. I smiled at him,

Oh kinky

I’d love to have his claws on my back or my thighs.

Yeah I knew it

I’ll be sure to do that as well. Announce my return. Loudly. But I’ll probably be gone for a bit. I feel like a nice long walk.”

CACKLING

I had the distinct feeling that my little hellcat was on the hunt, and somehow I had turned into the prey.

“No, I don’t think the one I saw was dangerous. It was huge, and I was a little startled when I first spotted it, but it never really got close and almost seemed to be watching out for me while I walked. It actually made me feel safer.”

Ok yes I hope it’s Atlas

Liam grumbled, “You have to go cuddle Quinton on that side of the bed. I sleep by the door.”

🥰

“Good night hunting?” I asked. “Yup,” Jude replied, smiling. “But why are you so happy? We heard you whistling. That’s just fucking weird.” “I’ve been upgraded,” I announced proudly. Corbin and Jude both raised their eyebrows at me in question. “I’ve gone from Creepy Stalker to Sexy Stalker. A definite improvement, I think,” I answered.

I swear to god he was making fucking puppy-dog eyes at me. What the fuck was I supposed to do with that? He was supposed to be the badass supernatural guy here, not the cutesy puppy-dog eyes guy.

“What do you have to say, Crow Daddy?” Quinton snapped, turning to stare at him. I tried not to laugh, and Corbin and his crow both looked disgruntled.

“Of course, I would hunt you down in a very nice way and bring you back willingly,” I said, nodding. “Toby always says consent is important. And if you didn’t want to come back then we’d all just follow you around or something. Although we like it here, so we’d all prefer it if you'd stay.”

“I like your morning breath. I like all your smells,” he said. “Ok, that’s just fucking weird, Sexy Stalker,”

smart about

I stared at him. “Did you just say ‘he leaked a bit’?” I asked. “From his eyes,” Liam added helpfully. For fuck’s sake.

Aww, Atlas was worried about our human packmates.

He was mine. I nodded my head once. Yes, he was definitely mine. My mate. My pack.

Really, it was better than what Jude or Corbin had come up with in the past. I did not enjoy being Liam Lennon, and Liam Crowe was only vaguely better.

“Perhaps I’ll come around and check on him,” he said.

Yes, the sheriff is gonna be Jude’s. I have no clue how my brain came to this conclusion, but I just know.