His Secret

by Isabel Lucero

“What uhh…part do you play?” His smile stretches across his face. “I play the defensive end part. A linebacker,” he adds with a shrug, like that’s supposed to help.

Lol legit me with sports

“We can’t choose our parents.” “No, but you can choose your family. You can find people who will accept and love you regardless, and you make a point to keep them close.”

This

“Do you like me?” “What? Of course I do.” “Not like…” He pauses. “I mean, am I not being obvious enough?” “Obvious?” He blows out a breath. “Never mind. I’ll see you later.”

“God, you have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he finally says, head still against mine. “You’re telling me,” I say with a shy smile. “I may have fantasized about this a time or two.” He smirks. “Good. Glad I wasn’t alone in fantasyland.” Fidgeting with my fingers, I say, “What now?” “Everything,” he replies with a wide smile. “I want to do everything with you.”

“You know, people say forgiveness is for the forgiver, but I don’t agree. You want my forgiveness so you can move on without guilt, but forgiving you gives me nothing. It doesn't erase my memory. It doesn’t fill a void. It doesn’t take us back to the past to figure out another way to do things. Forgiveness is for the guilty party, not for the wronged, and I no longer subscribe to catering to those who’ve hurt me. Like I said, you did exactly what you meant to and wanted, and my feelings were not a concern. I have to live with that and so do you.”

“What I felt for you was real, Matías. I’ve never experienced anything like it. I was honest with you about my feelings. I told you things I’ve never told anyone. You are the keeper of my secrets, and I appreciate that more than you know. Not once in all these years have I forgotten about you. You showed me true happiness, and a love…” His voice shakes and I close my eyes. “A love I didn’t deserve. I only hope that even though I broke your heart, you still remember some of the good times we had. And I hope that I gave you a fraction of what you gave me.”

Gtfo byeee

Love is a strange thing. It’s consuming, yes. Sometimes it’s blind and intoxicating. Other times it’s freeing. It can make you feel warm and protected. It can make you afraid. It’s not ever exactly the same for everyone, but once you love someone, there’s a part of your heart carved out only for them. That’s why it’s hard to move past someone who maybe isn’t right for you. You’ve carved a piece of yourself for them and you don’t want to let it go. You don’t want it to have been for nothing.

When she’s gone, he speaks. “Why do you have everyone call you Matt?” That’s definitely not the first thing I thought he’d say, and I’m not quite ready to tell him I don’t want his wife calling me by the same name he does. I’ve always preferred the way my name falls from his lips. Especially when he was gasping and moaning.

I don’t hug many people. Not like this. This is good for my soul. It breaks me open and fills me with warmth and comfort. I feel both elated and heartbroken. I never want to let him go, but he’s not mine. I want to cry, and I don’t know if it’s because I’m so happy or terribly sad.

“This isn’t weird,” I whisper next to his ear. “No,” he says in a quiet voice. “It feels like home.”

“I ignored you because the alternative is to touch you. To hold you. To steal you away and bring you up here so I can have my way with you. I had to ignore you, because my thoughts were running away with fantasies and ideas I’m not welcome to. I ignored you to keep from making you do something you might regret.”

He rubs his hand over his chest, right over his heart. “You can’t ask me to tell you to walk away, because I remember what it feels like to be the one left behind, and I’ve been waiting for you to come back to me for a long time. If you want me. Truly. Without reservation or fear, come to me and tell me, and I’ll be waiting.”

But Adrian isn’t just anybody. He’s Adrian. My first love. My first heartbreak. Mine. The doors have never been closed. Just cracked.

Like the good husband that I am, I check in with my wife before I head to a sex club with the guy I’ve been sleeping with.

Hes wrong for that lol

“No worries. We’ll be in room thirteen if you’re interested in seeing what you can’t have.”

Lmfao omfg

“With you, everything’s different,” I admit. “I feel like I’m out of control with you. In fact, I am. You hold all the power. You always did.”

Selfishness overpowers everything, and I’m not afraid to admit that I’m selfish enough to keep this up—because he is mine. He always has been. She’s just been borrowing him.

“Well, you don’t have to think about it anymore. You can do it. Fuck me, Adrian. Remind me that I’m yours.” He makes a noise low in his throat. “You are.” “Remind me. Claim me.” I let my tongue dance across his bottom lip. Lowering my voice, I say, “Hard. Fast. Deep. Show me how much you missed being inside me.”

want you to be ready for me,” he says. “I am.” “You think you are,” he says, tone deep and low. “But I’m going to fuck you with eight years of passion, desire, and need. I’m gonna fuck you with everything that I am.” “Oh, yeah,” I moan.

Oh myy

believe in soulmates,” he says, surprising me. “But I believe there are different types. Most people think a soulmate is the one and only person you’re meant to be with forever. I think you can have a platonic soulmate. I think you can have a romantic one. I think you can even have more than one.”

You’re in quite a mess right now, but it’s not fair what you had to go through. I wish you would’ve told me, because you know I always have your back, but that’s your journey. I love you. Let me know if you need anything, okay?”

Love this

can’t erase the words of the past, but together, maybe we can write a new path forward, because if it’s the rest of my life without you or a life that involves you and any man you choose to spend it with, I want the latter.”

Ugh yes i love this

When I die, I want to be suffocated while tongue-fucking his ass.

Matias is a freak lol

“I like seeing you like this.” He snorts. “What do I look like?” I run my hand through his hair, feeling the sweat at the roots. “Happy.” My eyes trail down his body. “Absolutely wrecked.” He laughs. I drag my knuckle down his jaw. “Mine.”

“Matías, being with you feels like freedom. Like home. Like a warm blanket on a cold night.”