I’d wanted the position, needed to be Madra’s favorite, but not so I’d be lifted out of poverty to be kept like a novel pet. I’d suffered too much by then. Known too much injustice. Seen such unspeakable acts of violence that all of my innocence had been washed away. I’d needed to be chosen by the queen so that I could get close enough to kill her. I fantasized about how I would do it each night when I closed my eyes. When my mother was slain in the streets and left to rot, those fantasies were all that kept me sane.
