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It’s under the most unbearable conditions that the sharpest, most dangerous weapons are forged.
Another day, another monarch throwing my ass in jail.
You’re too pretty to wear pants.
“I’m hungover,” he announced. “The sun is trying to crack my skull open, which is making me very unfriendly. But please. Feel free to open the curtains.”
Don’t worry. I brought you some cheese.”
“You could at least say hello before you start eye-fucking me.”
It was criminal that such astonishing eyes belonged to such a bastard.
“It’s going to bite you,” Kingfisher said. “No, it won’t. It—” It bit me.
“Rule number three. Do not make me do any physical activity,” he snarled. “What part of ‘I am hungover’ did you not fucking understand!”
To avoid far more serious pain, sometimes we have to endure a little sting.
“So you kissed that guy, then. The one with the creepy sword and the bad attitude?”
“You could eviscerate a man with that expression. It’s one of the things I love most about you.”
My ass can’t take much more of this.” “I bet that’s the first time you’ve said those words,” I called. He stuck out his tongue like a petulant child. “I’m more of a giver than a receiver, actually.”
“Witch,” he accused. “You do have magic.”
slick folds,
No
“It’s not about that. It’s about being fucking tricksy. We had a gentleman’s bet.
By righteous hands, deliverance of the unrighteous dead.
“And if you should find soul sundered from flesh, order a drink for us at the first tavern you come across in the afterlife. We’ll settle the tab when we get there.”
But fuck Danya. Danya was the worst.
“I love a girl with a sharp tongue and a bad attitude. Kinda makes my dick hard.”
“Fucking Danya,”
Of course it was
“Nobody will ever fuck you the way I’m about to fuck you, Saeris Fane. I’m about to introduce you to all seven gods. When you meet them, don’t forget to tell them I’m the one you worship on your knees.”
I’m already half-mad, anyway. What’s a little complicated thrown into the mix?”
A husband turns to his wife one day and says, ‘Y’know, I bet you can’t think of something to tell me that will make me both happy and sad at the same time.’ The wife doesn’t even need to think about it. She turns to her husband and says, ‘Your cock is way bigger than your brother’s.’”
“A cunt of a move,” Malcolm said, pouting coquettishly.
Fear the shadows, bitch. I’m made of them. One night soon, I’ll climb out of one and slit your fucking throat.”
