Finding Delaware (State of Us #1)

by Bree Wiley

I did that. I made those lips swell. I made those dark eyes water. I left my mark on him. Me.

While I may get violent with Huckslee because I’m forced to, the thought of anyone else touching him pisses me off. He’s mine to torment. No one else’s.

“That glare is reserved for me. You’re giving it to everyone else, and I’m jealous.”

This can be like neutral ground or something. A fake place. Like…Delaware.”

“You’re fucking cute when you’re flustered,” I blurt out, cutting off his rant, and my smile grows when his lips part at my words. His dark eyes widen, twinkling like a starry night sky as he flounders like a fish for something to say.

“But I want to talk to you, and you don’t trust me right now. So we’re going to Delaware.”

“God, I’m so fucking stupid.” I laugh humorlessly as I turn on my heel, heading back toward the house. “Despite all the shit you’ve done to me, I pined after you for years. Years. You really couldn’t care less about anyone but yourself, Taylor.”

“You weren’t there,” I accuse softly, gripping the handlebars. He must not have heard me because he tilts his head and steps closer. “I don’t know what we are, Huckslee. Maybe at one point, I did, but all of that changed. And I know I can’t undo everything I’ve done, but I almost fucking died, and you weren’t there.”

Huckslee Davis, jersey number twenty, currently in his fourth and final season playing for the California Golden Bears at CU Berkeley.

Please, let go, Huck, LET HIM GO. Tears freeze on my cheeks, eyes sliding shut, and despite the pressure crushing my windpipe, I find my thumb gently rubbing circles into Huck’s wrist. Telling him that it’s alright. It’s okay, I understand. I’ve wanted to do this to myself, too.

Fuck, even sad, he’s adorable. Makes me want to make him hot chocolate and shit. Tuck a blanket around him. Sit on his face.

“Never have I ever been in love.” His eyes meet mine, a starry night against snow-capped mountains. He doesn’t make a move toward his drink. But I do. Holding his gaze, I pick up my glass and drain its contents before placing it in the sink.

“The things I did to you in high school were wrong, and I’m so fucking sorry. I know saying it won’t make a difference, it won’t change anything that happened, but–” He cuts me off with a snarl. “Then why say it at all?” “Because your feelings fucking mattered, Huckslee, and I played with them like they didn’t.”

And Huckslee...he isn’t even sure that we’ll work out. Me? I already decided the moment Salem called to say he was coming home; Huck is endgame for me. He’s all I want. I don’t care that we’ve only started this thing a week ago; he could ask me to wait forever, and I would.

Taytay: Are you a fuckin magician? How’d you get outside? Me: Abracadabra, bitch.

Taylor asked me earlier who I had in my corner. I can easily say without a doubt that Grandma and Gramps are there for me one hundred percent.