I'll Have What She's Having

by Chelsea Handler

No doctor or scientist had to tell me twice to stop hanging out with other people. Everyone had been annoying the shit out of me for my entire life,

nonreactive behavior: How to take something in, consider it, and then formulate a response instead of reacting to everything in the moment and with a temper. To understand that most things are not in your control, and that one of the only things that you can control is your reaction. You can choose to take something in, and to be calm and thoughtful with your response—or you can blow your gasket every time you hear or see something you don’t like, like I did for my entire childhood and early adulthood.

The people who don’t get you are not your problem. Sitting around and thinking of all the people who don’t love you or don’t want to hang out with you diminishes your own light. Focus on where the light and love come from and park yourself in front of that. There are many moments in life when your own light is all you need.

Seen, safe, secure, soothed.

The word “desperate” has no place in my vocabulary or life. There is nothing desperate about knowing your truth, your value, and not sublimating any of it for another person.

I would like to go on record and say this is one of the most ridiculous sentences I’ve ever heard, and I hear it way too often. First of all, I very much want to die alone. The reason to have a partner or children should not be so that they will be there to watch you die. I look forward to paying some nurse or drug dealer to either put me down like a horse or help usher me out of this world with a large dose of morphine. I don’t want anyone to watch me die or to be there with me. I just want to go to sleep and drift into whatever is next, and if there is absolutely nothing beyond this world, that’s fine, too.

It’s so important to show up for people in need. To take someone in, to realize they are struggling, and to inconvenience yourself when you can save another person’s day. We all must remember that while we remain the main character in our own story, sometimes we are a supporting character in another’s.

There are times and places for advice, and then there are times where all people need is for someone to listen.

I had been working consciously to appreciate the commitments I make without complaining about them.