I'll Have What She's Having

by Chelsea Handler

That was the problem. Some of my friends didn’t want me to change at all, but I wasn’t going to be the same old Chelsea. I wanted to grow and evolve into whatever the newer, better version of me was, while also taking the good parts of old Chelsea with me.

was unsure of which direction I was headed in, if I was even in the right career, if anyone even valued me or my contributions, or worst of all, if anyone would even notice if I just disappeared.

No doctor or scientist had to tell me twice to stop hanging out with other people. Everyone had been annoying the shit out of me for my entire life, and with the help of therapy I had finally come to understand the importance of being able to spend some quality time by myself.

So, when people tell me I’m irresponsible for spreading positive messages about remaining childless, I smile, knowing that I have been a parent to many, and knowing the biggest gift I have ever been given was becoming a father.

My experience with children is twofold: I absolutely love kids who are polite and engaging and have manners. I do not appreciate the other kind. I do not blame any child for their behavior; I blame their parents. I blame men for men.

I told my friend that without such a shitty example of a mother she would have never become the mother she is today. That she owed her mother a thank-you for her own good parenting. That her mother showed her what not to do, thereby setting her up for success.

“No, it only sounds like you are stuck in your anger. You allowing your anger to drive you is toxic. She is the reason you have five beautiful children who love and adore you. If you can let go of your anger, and tell her you forgive her, the tide will rise even higher than it is now. You will have taken the highest road possible, and even more love and compassion will be headed your way, maybe even coming from your mother. Forgiveness is the key to joyful living.”