I'll Have What She's Having

by Chelsea Handler

I have been called dumb, obnoxious, trashy, raunchy, crass, a fake, and various other things throughout my career. I have been all of those things at certain moments, but not one of those words encapsulates who I am.

“Go find out what your problem is, because your gifts are plentiful, and sometimes people with the most gifts have the easiest time throwing them in the trash. Don’t be a product of your environment, Chelsea. Make your environment be a product of you.” This was the definition of sisterhood.

That woman I had dreamed of becoming hadn’t even been on my mind in recent years.

I needed to pivot toward thinking about the type of person I wanted to be, rather than obsessing on the history of my behavior.

The people who don’t get you are not your problem.

They say she’s “a lot.” I say to those people: it’s better to be a lot than to be a little.

I learned about the four S’s: seen, safe, secure, and soothed. These are what Dan says are the most important things for a child to feel.

I want to be sitting on my deathbed knowing that I went for it. I’m going to get sick and die at some point, and I would like in that moment to smile at the life I lived. That I had Guts. That I had standards. That I loved people intensely. That I lived in a loud, brave way.

I wouldn’t confuse missing someone with belonging with someone.

There is nothing desperate about knowing your truth, your value, and not sublimating any of it for another person.

the idea that you can’t have fun while remaining professional is laughable. To me, being professional is being fun.

The truth of the matter is, most people have a little problem with one thing or another, and most people seem to be able to manage it just fine.

Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. Some people are only here to get you from one chapter to the next, and sometimes you are the person helping someone get from one chapter to the next. Be grateful for the experience and be graceful when it’s over.

When you see something, you must say something. You must. That is what sisterhood is. Never looking away, never apologizing to or accommodating men who are powerful, and making sure every time you leave a room, everyone knows you were there and what it is you stand for.